Roomies Reviews:

Review for Chapter 6: Duncan vs. the Tacit Trauma
(Copy/Pasted from GW)

I… was not fully prepared for this chapter. Part of me wants to go straight to the end, because holy crap, that was a huge game changer in a tiny package, but I’ll be good and not skip the majority of what was a great chapter.

First, Monica. I really like Monica. I didn’t think I would from initial descriptions, but she’s probably character #3 for me. I was thinking to myself at the start of this chapter that she needs to get herself a tiny girlfriend, one she can play with like she does Duncan, but with whom she can expand her interactions beyond just innocent play. I feel like she’s being a little too harsh on poor Ada, who has only ever done what she thought others might like, and has only wanted a friend, but I can respect Monica for protecting her employee, and more recently, her friend.

Ah, Ada. The poor girl is too focused on facts, and continuously fails to consider how context can alter the implications and conclusions to be drawn from those facts. It’s not really her fault that she’s ignorant of Duncan’s tragic history, and she’s experienced Duncan deriving pleasure from being in her mouth - she’s only doing what seems to her to be the natural progression of their relationship, all the while ready to stop if he says no.

God, I could break down this scene with Ada, and the contrasting scene with Callie (which, again, Holy Hannah are you a master of establishing contrasting scenes to make a point. Like, please sensei, would you be willing to teach a master class?) but rather than diving into every exquisite detail, I just want to take a moment to look at this from a bigger picture. I have read a few stories, both short and long form, which try to convey the importance, the implementation, and the ill aftermath of failure to use active consent. Many of those have been informative, some have even been palatable to read, coming across as instructive rather than preachy.

HOLY SHIT! You freaking wrote an S-Tier manual on the consequences and correct application of active, continuous consent, and you didn’t even use the word! It’s not present in this chapter anywhere, but I could give this to someone who fails to understand the importance, and right there is not only a warning of the potential pitfalls, but a clear and sexy application of the concept. I give you kudos, I tip my hat to you, hell, I dogeza before that execution. So incredibly well done, and hot as all hell.

Sorry, back on the characters, I’m so glad we’re past the misunderstanding minefield… BUT NO! Right at the end, Duncan’s guilt comes crashing back in, and now Callie’s questioning what’s up with Duncan. You set up a great scene for catharsis, but it was too easy, too cheaply earned, and you recognized that, and threw a massive monkey wrench of trauma and dark history at us.

I knew, from the moment Callie said it was a tiny woman, that it was Kristie. Duncan had just pushed himself to move past the trauma she had inflicted upon him, at least for a moment. He had just taken a step forward - it had to be Kristie to bring all of that sidelined trauma back to the fore.

Still, I see this as a good thing. Duncan has the opportunity to directly confront the source of so much of his trauma, the origin of several ingrained reactions and hang-ups. This puts him on an equal footing (and with his physicality, an arguably superior footing) before we even consider the support group that has grown up around him. Tiny Kristie can only be a good thing for Duncan’s path of healing… if not for one simple, easily overlooked fact.

Who shrank Kristie, or if not responsible for the shrinking, then who collected her, and brought her to Duncan? I have a sinking feeling that there are surveillance devises in and around Callie’s apartment. At this stage, my money would be on Duncan’s estranged family playing some sort of game.

Dammit, it’s almost midnight, there’s no way I’m getting another chapter in tonight. Thanks so much for this incredible story, I’m practically chomping at the bit to finish reading and see how it ends!

Review for Chapter 5: Duncan vs. the Shy Slaver
(Copy/Pasted from GW)

Damn, my heart ached for Callie at the start of this chapter. Bringing Duncan in to help her cheat was silly, it was dangerous, it was daring, and worst of all, it had worked! And then it had all gone to shit... Duncan was missing, presumed dead (by Callie, sorta. Guilt sucks), and Callie had no idea what else she could do. I'm so glad Monica was there for her, to comfort her, and to commiserate, while keeping Callie from falling into despair.

The next scene with Callie was quite interesting as well. Holy crap is she handy! I mean, the bed was impressive on its own, but it sounds like Duncan has quite the setup here! And the pictures! Not just the effort in creating the framed photos, but the contents themselves are wonderful, or at least delightfully campy (Imminent vore shot? Check!). Duncan and Callie have such a wonderful relationship.

Swapping to Duncan's scenes, holy cow did you solidify Ada's nerd cred! From her Sci-Fi collection (I would have LOVED a Firefly bedspread when I was younger) to her Dune tee-shirt, it's obvious she's got the merch, but you really sold it with her socially awkward introduction and utter lack of conversational skills. That was totally me with strangers at that age. Well, strangers I wasn't meeting for a purpose. I actually think Ada did really well here! Kudos for letting Duncan carry the conversation!

And then the ice was broken, and that nerdy need to know surged forth. I absolutely love how well you characterize through action and word choice, and Ada's intro is a shining example of that. Oh, and the Cool Ranch Doritos and Dew? Classic!

But then she gets all possessive?! And here I was hoping the nerdy Browncoat would be a new, positive influence on his life, but nope, she straight up declares Duncan as her slave! You betrayed my faith in you, nerdy Ada! But no! She doesn't really want to enslave him; she just wants a friend, and mirroring his reactions is about the extent of her social repertoire outside of talking about her Sci-Fi. Gah, my heart goes out to this poor, unassuming girl who just wants human interaction, not realizing the other party is a victim of abuse, with no real context about his captor beyond what she's shown him, and what he's seen from other giant, abusive women. She doesn't understand that Duncan's ability to stop their 'playacting' is something only she can perceive, and that even thinking of bringing it up is anathema to the abused tiny. She can't see or understand that his projected expectations mixed with her social anxiety and need for companionship have combined into a horribly toxic concotion of a social heirarchy, with neither feeling in control.

And then it gets so much worse (better)! Misinterpreting his stated fears as his desires, she doubles down and puts him in a degrading situation she thinks he'll enjoy, not understanding that... that, uh... that he actually will enjoy it, but will be very confused by his reaction. Damn, this was a great way to expose Duncan to some aspects of size play that would have been far less likely under Callie's care. Gah, this was a perfect storm, and I absolutely loved it!

I'm also glad that when the truth came to light, Ada proved she was a proud Browncoat, and brought Duncan back to his found family (in progress). It was kind of Duncan to try covering for Ada, but perhaps a bit of explanation would have been the safer way to go, as shown by Monica picking up on Ada's pleased surprise.

I did enjoy that scene with Duncan and Monica. I'm proud to see her opening up with Duncan. I'm glad to have it confirmed she's not there for him romantically, but because she cares about him as a person. No chance of his growing relationship with Callie souring their relationship with Monica, at least not through direct jealousy. I hope they continue to stick together moving forward, even if there are some understandable reservations towards Ada.

Gah, I want to read another chapter, but it's bedtime. Great story, I'm loving everything thus far, and I can't wait to see what comes next!

Review for Chapter 4: Callie vs. the Titillating Test
(Copy/Pasted from GW)

Screw it! The dishes will still be there tomorrow, and I can pull fresh clothes out of the dryer. *Smashes Coffee Mug* Another!

I'm always impressed with how well you maintain the sense of scale with each mixed-size interaction. You are detailed and descriptive, without undue verbosity. Our introduction to Dr. Catamaunt is a great example of this, be it through your description of Duncan's office, Callie's interactions with Duncan, or the Doc's reaction to seeing Callie from something akin to Dunkan's PoV. (BTW, I immediately Googled to see if the name has any historical / literary connotations... 0.0 Spicy!)

So, we need yet another person to know about Duncan's existence? I immediately find myself expecting a cute med student, who... hmm, probably not a sweet girl - Callie is delightfully nuanced, but is closest to Deredere and Dorodere, likely ruling those out. Monica is close enough to a Tsundere to rule that out. Maybe a Kuudere? Makes sense for a med student, I suppose.

Oh my goodness, I love the mini house! Using rubber erasers for elevation would also serve for decent vibration isolation. Such a good idea! And I love the color scheme.

I'm also glad to see Callie moving past her mental hang-ups. The culture she grew up in forged those invisible chains of misplaced guilt and self-doubt; it's refreshing to see Duncan helping her to break free of them.

That being said, I'm concerned about how and when she's decoding to change things up. Her style isn't her typical comfortable clothes, but a reactionary risqué that may come back to bite her. Regardless of who is to blame for the gazes, wearing less fabric than Daisy Duke will draw additional attention, ans with Duncan with her, and less fabric in which to hide him, I expected this midterm to be very stressful for our dear Callie.

And... I was wrong? No, I was very wrong. I doubt her normal shirts had pockets, so I guess leaving her chest exposed gave Duncan more room to escape, but the impact her fashion combined with her physicality had on Slimewell was beyond my expectations. Well played.

As that confrontation was playing out, I loved that Duncan's mere presence was enough to bolster Callie's confidence. Couples that support each other, both actively and by extension with their passive presence, is what draws me to these stories. I absolutely adore this interaction.

Callie taking control at the end of the test was a little rude, but at the same time I'm glad to see her asserting herself in an environment in which she felt severely uncomfortable and timid.

That said, Brooklyn asserting herself over Callie's need for the restroom was just plain rude. If you need to talk, follow the poor girl!

But no, instead we get a panicked Callie, a missing Duncan, and a monstrously evil cliffhanger! *tucks the manuscript for Small Investments under a blank folder*

Damn, I've been reading off and on since about 3, and it's now almost 10:30, so I'm not getting a fourth chapter in today, but I'm so glad I took the time to read these chapters, and I'm chomping at the bit to read more. Do you think my boss would accept Evil Cliffhanger in a Fetish Story as a viable excuse for a last minute PTO request? I'm damn tempted to try it.

Anyways, this is a great story, loving the characters, and I can't wait to read more!

Review for Chapter 3: Callie vs. the Esoteric Executive
(Copy/Pasted from GW)

Fuck it. This may have been a rare opportunity for free time, but my friends can spread managed democracy without me. I needed to know what happens next with Callie and Duncan and Monica! And especially Callie.

The opening to this chapter goves me a very different view of Monica than we've seen previously, and I find it refreshingly unexpected. Then again, her approach to dealing with Callie reinforces Duncan's initial description of Monica, so it's nice to know he wasn't just badmouthing his at least somewhat-caring boss.

It's kinda heartwarming to see Duncan and Callie solidifying their Roomie connection, with Duncan literally giving Callie control over his financials. That's more trust than some mardied couples have in their partner, the practical aspect of Callie shopping for Duncan ve damned.

It was nice to see that as rough and cutthroat as the culture is at Shale Holdings, at least Monica and Alyssia seem to care about Duncan. I laughed at the nicknames thing (poor Shortstack - I mean, Alyssia) and I'm looking forward to finding out what she came up with. I'm not sure whether I'm hoping for a typical tiny pet name or something more creative.

(Also, side note, I love the character names in this story. Even Stillwell has an interesting name, may it be written on a thousand sheets of paper and each of them be used to draw his blood.)

I'm enjoying the power dynamics between Monica, who ostensibly has all the power, and yet is somewhat yielding to Callie for Duncan's care (I admit I'm surprised she didn't just demand to care for him personally). Then there's Callie and Duncan, where Callie has physical veto power on everything, even as they're trying to help each other out. And then we have Callie's almost Hero Worship of Monica, with her tiny charge somewhere above her in the eyes of her Hero. It's tenuous, and potentially in flux, and I'm looking forward to seeing how those relationships develop.

And once again, we get a delightful contrast. As Monica brings the car to a screeching halt, Duncan and Callie's relationship takes one step closer. I hope we get to see Callie testing the effects of her moans on little Duncan before too long!

Before I touch on Monica again, I want to talk about Callie's parents. Their characterisation frustrates the hell out of me. Well done. The parental lecturing that they know better than Callie, the backwards logic they were raised on that they will not and at this age maybe even cannot question but keep using as a metric to shape and limit Callie - it's all too familiar, not necessarily for myself, certainly not in all aspects, but I've seen it again and again through the years. You have perfectly captured the loving parents feom whom the child needs to distance herself.

Okay, that's said, back to Monica.

WOW, I feel like her personality is worn commando style - lose any of her outer share, and she bares it all. I expected some light teasing, maybe a bit of shock at her unfiltered personality, then some heavier teasing, but she wasted no time. It went from a brief icebreaker about work, to 'I know your dark secret and I'm going straight for the fucking jugular!" And her reaction to his first touch? I can only imagine that from this day forward, any time Duncan sees her Ice Queen demeanor he'll see every crack in that passionless façade.

I will say this transition was probably the most jarring of the story thus far. That should in no way inply it was bad; rather, I admit I was left reeling by these events. And then Callie's return? I'll give Duncan this: he stuck his landing like a champ, even if he landed face first in his boss' toes. I mean, A+ for effort, even if his excuse earned an F, both for Foot and Failure. And then Monica doubles down on the awkward excuse! And then Callie buys it?! I'm holding out hope that the next chapter starts woth Callie holding in her surprise, laughter, and/or confusion, and that she went along with this because her Hero was involved.

Regardless, another great chapter, I'm really looking forward to an opportunity to read the next one!

Review for Chapter 2: Callie vs. the Persuasive Professor
(Copy/Pasted from GW)

Why was Duncan so untrusting prior to shrinking? The first chapter could be interpreted as reasonable caution, but this second chapter just screams Serious Trust Issues.

You do a great job early on of framing Kristie as messy and undisciplined, especially when it comes to caring about others. Your efforts to characterize her as a manipulative (to the point of abusive) woman were even a step above. It's clear Kristie actively worked to separate Duncan from people. I can't help but wonder whether she was the primary reason, or more likely primary catalyst, that Duncan separated from the Brenadines (who seem to be his adoptive family, or the main family of which he was a branch member?) The fact that not only are Duncan's whereabouts unknown to his family, but that Kristie is confident of that fact tells me that while she might not make much effort to care for her boy toy, she has made ample effort to keep him to herself. And I do mean boy toy, even before he shrunk. Kristie is definitely hard-core gaslighting him even in her most gentle interactions, and Duncan's reactions that such behavior is expected highlight this quite nicely. I'm very curious to learn what she did to earn his trust in the first place.
I love that you incorporate this controlling aspect into even her most mundane actions. Even just in picking Duncan up, Kristie is not only controlling him by doing so against his will, but she is actively restraining his limbs, removing his agency in this relationship, reducing him to the toy she believes him to be.

Also, I have to comment: Breadcrumbs? Just breadcrumbs? That's all she fed him? I can deal with being caged by a sexy giant woman who wants to treat me as a sex toy, but I draw the line at withholding good food. Give the poor guy a crumb of everything on your plate and he'll be eating like a king. That's not neglect, that's not just betrayal, that is malicious cruelty of the highest order.

Monica Shale is a new character for me (I know the story is already complete). The fact that when comparing Monica to his manipulative girlfriend, Duncan considers Monica the far more controlling individual sets a high bar for her first reveal - and not as a good or caring person.

I feel terrible that Duncan's experiences have given him night terrors. Taking something incredibly intimate and turning it into the thing that terrorizes your dreams is a definite tug at the heartstrings.

And then there's Callie, both desperately trying to help him, but simultaneously awakening to the feelings such power over another person evoke in her.

Loved the song choice for the lullaby, btw!

And my goodness, she made him clothes! And a bed!! I can't be bothered to figure out a sewing machine to patch up my own clothes. I can manage some needle and thread, but it's too much of a hassle. I'm definitely rooting for Callie to come out ahead in this story.

"Or maybe he's into it." Yeah, I laughed wayy too hard at that. Callie is shping up to be a good girl who has some new or repressed desires that might not be so healthy for Duncan. I'm looking forward to seeing what rises to the occasion: her compassion or the newfound aspects of her personality.

Professor Stillwell. I really hope he receives his comeuppance later in the story, and if so, I can't wait to get to it. You have written a grade-A creep, and I only want to learn more about him so I can see that information used against him. Viscerally. I certainly wouldn't mind seeing him shrunken and dropped into Kristie's mailbox, maybe with a note that reads, "Despite what I may say, I really enjoy staying bound and gagged."

Oh, my, I see Callie and Duncan have taken a new 'step' in their relationship! It's good for Duncan to explore more of his sexuality, and how else would he have gotten a faceful of Callie's toes and sweat to learn about somethong else that turns him on? Though I admit I expected that event to derail the following conversation, I'm really glad things turned back to Callie's experiences with Stillwell, and I love how you handled it. Both in terms of how Duncan pushed when needed and Callie started to realize where blame truly lay, but also in some of the physicality of the scene contrasting with earlier parts of the chapter. Callie offering Duncan a lift rather than plucking him up, and the juxtaposition of Callie intentionally freeing Duncan's arms to give him a sense of control and agency, when Kristie had intentionally trapped them. But there's also that comparison of her wanting him to be comfortable, and her enjoyment of holding him tightly. Add that to a callback to Callie's cry for help in the previous chapter, and you get a chaf's kiss for this. Gah, this scene is so well done!!!

Oh, my. Callie seems to have some seriously rose-tinted glasses when she looks at Monica Shale. I'm glad to see her giving Duncan the push he needs in the wake of receoving her own push. I just feel sorry that in both instances, he's the one in danger if things are pushed too far.

Man, I'm so glad I finally got a few hours to sit down and dive into another chapter for this story. I'm so looking forward to finding the time for the next one!

Review for Chapter 1: Callie vs. the Minimalist Mini
(Copy/Pasted from GW)

I think we're off to a great start here! You have a couple of very interesting characters. There are a lot of questions floating in the background, and I'm raring to find the answers, no matter how ugly they may be.

Callie is probably the character in more emotionally invested in right now, just because I can relate better to her situation. She's a truly good and caring person, and while that's not as hard to find as most people think, many people bury that goodness out of an attempt to appear strong, or to avoid being hurt - aaand my review is unintentionally skewing into unintentional social commentary. Let me try again. I feel for her seemingly hopeless situation. It's a terrible thought, that only one person could possibly help you, and they are the one screwing you over in the forst place. I feel for Callie, and I am rooting for her all the way. The big questions I want answered are: Who put her in this position? Why are they singularly able to help her? Why are they hurting her instead? My first thought is this person is a relative, likely one with a connection to the college.

Duncan's situation intrigues me. How did he shrink? Why did his clothes shrink with him? Did his girlfriend already own that hamster cage, and was it new or previously occupied? HOW DOES HE NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BORROWERS!?!?!

-ahem, sorry. I do have to say, his persistence is both admirable and inspiring, and the circumstances of his condition intriguing. I feel terrible for what he has suffered, but I still find myself wanting to know the extent of what he's gone through. I give him props for fighting off a squirrel, and I can't really fault him for his naming conventions (writes the writer with a girl-who's-basically-a-succubus OC named Titty...)

The last two things I'm going to touch on are your writing style. First, I saw the discord conversation about adding line-breaks in the midst of the character speaking. You're definitely not wrong that changing to a new thought or making a declaration can warrant that for emphasis, but the practical application of it tends to be jarring, even for readers who know you aren't doing anything wrong. I would recommend saving that approach for longer speaking sections, such as exposition or an epic villain monologue. I think you'll find your readers more receptive.

Second, please never put yourself down for being wordy. So long as reading doesn't make me feel like I'm chewing on alphabet soup, I think you're doing just fine. I'm so glad to see you contributing a story to the community, I would far prefer you enjoy your writing and focus on the story than get lost in the quagmire of writing like Dickens only to edit like Hemingway. That goes the same for my first point about unnecessary line breaks in dialogue.

In conclusion, this was a great introduction, and I very much would like to encourage you to continue. If you ever get hung up and need a sounding board, feel free to DM me on Discord. And last, but certainly not least, thank you for gifting the community with your characters, with your writing style, and with your story.