Lance paced back and forth as the timer on the microwave counted down to zero. He knew that his girlfriend would be home at any second now, and he thought he had a cute and harmless surprise planned out. Making sure he had his trusty shrink ray in the kitchen with him, Lance broke into a smile as the microwave beeped repeatedly, signaling that it was done.
Opening it up, he pulled out a warm chocolate chip cookie on a paper plate, setting it down on top of the counter. “Alright, let’s just double check,” he mumbled, pulling out his phone and texted his gorgeous girlfriend, Amelia, wondering when she would be home. She responded that she was a few minutes away, which was all Lance needed to hear.
“Alright, she’ll love this,” he said with a smile, poking the surface of the cookie just to make sure it wasn’t too hot. It was very warm and his finger left a noticeable indentation, but he’d be fine. ‘And here we go,” he said to himself, hoisting himself up on the counter and standing directly over the dessert.
Lance’s plan was to shrink to about an inch tall And wait on top of the warm, tasty cookie. Once Amelia entered the kitchen, she’d no doubt see the cookie with him on top of it. “Getting little,” he mumbled to himself, closing his eyes. “In three…two….”
Pulling the trigger before he said one, Lance rapidly shot downward, onto the soft, warm, crumbly surface of the cookie. He opened his eyes and his jaw dropped. The tan, rocky landscape was now a vast plain that he was in the middle of, one littered with hills and craters. “Shit, I’m too small,” he whispered.
Starting to panic, Lance looked down at the settings for his shrink ray. His eyes widened as he realized he had made a careless, rookie mistake. Instead of setting the ray for one inch in height, he had set it to one millimeter. “Well, fuck this,” he mumbled, before he heard a deep rumbling approaching from the distance.
Almost entering a trance, the tiny man found himself unable to move watching his titanic girlfriend slowly make her way into the kitchen. Into the kitchen strode Amelia, a gorgeous Hispanic woman in her late twenties with dyed red hair and wearing a bright, yellow sundress.
“BABY? YOU HERE?” she casually called out, arms full of grocery bags. She waited several seconds before letting out an irritated sigh. “GUESS I'M PUTTING THESE AWAY MYSELF,” she mumbled, totally oblivious to the fact that she was not alone in the kitchen.
Despite the fact that Lance still had his phone in his pocket and the shrink ray in his hand, Lance could not bring himself to move right now. He was busy staring at the love of his life as she moved throughout the kitchen, particularly the shape of her ass as stepped onto a chair to put some cans away in the top cabinet.
Thinking he might as well make the best of the situation, Lance began looking around and decided he would grow back in a second, he just needed to get a good picture to send to Amelia first.
Turning the camera on himself, he began to try and take the perfect goofy selfie to send to Amelia. He wanted himself in the foreground and her enormous body to be visible in the background. Just as he was lining up for a perfect shot, he felt his right foot buckle beneath him as he fell. “Shit!” he shouted as he fell face first.
Lance made the mistake of not paying attention to his surroundings. The one-millimeter man was too focused on his selfie, and didn’t realize he was stepping into a still warm chocolate chip. Losing his balance and falling face first into the sticky goop, Lance lost his grip on the tiny size-changing device. He hadn’t even realized it, as he was too focused on trying to keep his head out of the sticky sludge.
“Oooogh, what the fuck,” he coughed, spitting out the sweet muck, trying to wipe the melted chocolate out of his eyes. Sprawled out on his hands and knees, he tried to pull himself to his feet but found it was nearly impossible. The chocolate he had just warmed in the microwave was starting to cool.
While her darling boyfriend fought for his life in a chocolate chip, Amelia had finished putting away the groceries she had picked up from the store. Her eyes then zeroed in on a pleasant little surprise on the kitchen counter. It was a tasty looking chocolate chip cookie laying on a paper towel. Next to it there was an orange sticky note in Lance’s handwriting.
‘A LITTLE TREAT ALL FOR YOU ;) ‘, the note read.
Starting to smile and blush, Amelia lifted the cookie up into the air. “HE’S SO SWEET,” she mumbled, bringing the cookie up to her face.
“Oh god, Amelia help me!” a panicked Lance screamed. He managed to pull his right arm out of the thickening chocolate, but his left side only sunk in more. He watched as the cookie came to a rest in front of Amelia’s face, both of her nostrils flaring as she inhaled its tantalizing aroma.
“MMMMM, SMELLS YUMMY,” she giggled to herself, before opening her mouth wide. She couldn’t hear her one-millimeter boyfriend shouting for mercy, as the cookie entered her mouth and she bit into it, tearing off a large chunk.
“Fuck!” Lance yelled, horrified at what he had just witnessed. The entire area in front of him, a cookie shaped landscape, had just disappeared. A wall of Amelia’s teeth and gums descended down, and just obliterated it. Still stuck within the confines of the hardening chocolate chip, a chill went down Lance's spine as he watched her chew the mouthful of dessert.
With a deafening gulp, though it was insignificant to her, Amelia swallowed her mouthful, and turned her attention back to the cookie. Her brown eyes fell upon the very chocolate chip her pathetically small boyfriend was stuck in, when an idea popped into her head.
“Oh he’ll love this,” she laughed, setting the cookie down on the table before walking out of the kitchen.
“Wait! Amelia come back,” an exhausted Lance shouted out. “Well, at least she won’t eat me right now,” he said, making himself chuckle slightly. He knew this was buying him time and he started to try and wriggle back and forth, pushing himself through the chocolate prison.
Those footsteps came back. Lance looked up to see his gigantic girlfriend returning to the kitchen, with a giddy expression on her face and a familiar device in her hand. Lance recognized it immediately as her shrink ray. The pair had made the hilarious mistake of getting each other shrink rays for Christmas without the other knowing. Now, it might be his salvation.
‘Wait, did she see me?’ Lance thought to himself, starting to think he might be getting out of this. He figured she’d shrink herself down, help pull him to safety, and they would have a funny story to tell in the future.
“HE’LL LOVE THIS,” Amelia said to herself. Pulling herself onto the kitchen counter, she squatted over the cookie and aimed the shrink ray at herself, unaware that she was giving her boyfriend a jaw-droppingly great view of her thong beneath her sundress. Pulling the driver, Amelia soon dwindled down on top of the cookie.
Being much more handy using the shrink ray, Amelia did not have any mishaps adjusting the settings on her shrink ray. She stopped shrinking at one-inch tall, the intended size for Lance.
“This is so cool,” Amelia said with a smile, putting her hands on her hips and scrunching her toes. She loved feeling the crumbling texture of the cookie beneath her feet, though she was still unaware of Lance’s whereabouts. Though the two were now much closer in size, a careless step from Amelia would still grind Lance into a pulp.
“DAMN, IF LANCE CAME HOME RIGHT NOW HE COULD EAT ME RIGHT UP,” Amelia said to herself, a slight nervous quiver in her voice. She shifted her position, her enormous bare foot slamming down right next to that chocolate chip.
Pulling out her cell phone, Amelia began to take a few of her own selfies. She faked a nervous expression, while also making sure to grab her breasts. After adding the caption ‘come eat me’, Amelia sent off the text messages to Lance, excitedly anticipating his response.
Several minutes went by and Lance had still not texted her back. “Well what the heck,” she muttered in an irritated tone. Amelia was totally oblivious that the man she loved was trapped in a chocolate chip right next to her foot. Somewhere in that gooey mess, a cell phone was vibrating with cute pictures that Amelia sent, though it was the last thing from Lance’s mind, as if he had a way to reach it anyway.
“That’s a shame, he would’ve thought that was hot,” Amelia sighed, starting to walk away from the cookie.
“Baby come back! I’m still here! I need your help!” Lance yelled frantically, watching the enormous feet of his girlfriend stomp away, leaving tiny track marks in the hardened dough.
Stepping off the cookie, Amelia continued to walk to put plenty of space between her and the pastry, turning her attention down to the shrink ray as she did so.
Watching in a silent combination of awe and horror, Lance was powerless as his already giant girlfriend pointed the shrink ray at herself and returned to her normal size. She went from giant to monolithic, her full size nearly unfathomable to the one-millimeter man.
Hopping off the counter carefully so not to hit her head, Amelia caused the floor shake. She casually reached for the cookie she had been standing on mere moments ago and lifted it skyward towards her face.
Everything seemed to happen in front of Lance in slow motion. He watched as the cookie was slowly brought towards Amelia’s mouth, her lips parting to reveal a dark wet cave. Her eyes were looking at the cookie, and Lance felt as if she was staring right through him. “Don’t eat me, please,” he cried, knowing that his date was sealed.
Amelia's mouth surrounded the cookie, while Lance was still trapped in a tiny piece of chocolate. A chill ran down his spine as the darkness of her mouth surrounded him, then he heard a horrifying cracking noise. Amelia had bitten into the cookie and started to chew, slowly pulverizing the dessert between her molars.
A slimy wave of saliva allowed Lance to start to wriggle free, when everything went black. In an instant, Amelia’s teeth had slammed down on top of him, turning the cookie and his puny form into a paste.
Tilting her head back, Amelia swallowed and let out a satisfied sigh. “That was so sweet of him, can’t wait till he gets home,” she said, walking out of the kitchen. Her stomach rumbles, as crushed remains of the cookie and her boyfriend entered.