Mixing Sizes by TerryLarka

            “Outta the way!”

            “Jesus, lady, you’re blocking the street!”

            “Move it, fatass!”

            “Shut the fuck up!” Sasha shouted, trying to navigate the tiny district’s cramped streets. “Why don’t you make some wider fucking sidewalks!?” Drew was crouched on all fours in her palm, trying his best to stay upright as Sasha stumbled between buildings. Tiptoeing around vehicles and pedestrians was quite challenging in combat boots. It was a humid summer evening, and the unlikely duo were headed for an outdoor concert being held just outside the tiny city’s limits. Drew had been sharing his favorite music with Sasha, the latter having no familiarity with tiny bands. Tinies had a plethora of kickass metal bands: Sweaty Rain, Millimeters of Rage, Atomic Alloy, Languish in Chaos, the Marx Mandlehaur Group, but Drew and Sasha both agreed that Four-Limbed Spiders were the best that mini-metal had to offer. Sasha was giddy to find they sold giant-sized merch on their website, a practice still uncommon among niche music groups. She and Drew wore matching tank-tops depicting the band’s logo which Jess couldn’t help but tease them over.

            “You two look so cute together!” she had cooed before they left.

            “Shut up! It wasn’t intentional,” Sasha rebuked. She was decked out in jean shorts, black nail polish and lipstick, and purple eyeshadow.

            With the Four-Limbed Spider’s tour landing in his hometown, Drew saw it as the perfect opportunity for Sasha to get more acclimated to those smaller than her. Entering the tiny district was a massive step for her, though she dreaded it from the moment Drew brought up the idea. If her best friend was going to keep dating a tiny, then she wanted to get more comfortable around them, but that didn’t make the process any less unnerving. The summer heat at least gave her an excuse for all her nervous sweating.

            Honking horns and shouting pedestrians occupied the airspace as Sasha awkwardly approached the concert venue. It was a large park, about 12x9 feet, on the outskirts of town. With the concert soon underway, the place was packed with people, concession stands, and merch tables. Sasha had never seen so many tinies at once; it was like several ant colonies were all scuttling together on the same picnic blanket. She would have backed out then and there, but the thought of having to traverse back through the city kept her from retreating. They’re people, not bugs, she chanted to herself. It became a mantra she recited whenever tinies started grossing her out. Sasha lowered Drew to the ground so that he could get them admitted.

            “You can come in,” the attendant said, “but your friend has to stay out here.”

            “What? But she has a ticket. You have to let her in.” The attendant gave a dead stare back to Drew, signaling that he wasn’t being paid enough to deal with this sort of conflict.

            “Sir, there’s no room for her. We can’t let her in. There’s an empty lot down the street we’ve reserved for bigs. Just go there.” A line was forming behind Drew as he argued with the gatekeeper. Sasha was standing a couple feet away; she couldn’t hear what the two tinies were arguing about, but it wasn’t difficult to put it together. Tinies peered up at the giantess as they walked around her obstructive boots. Because of her shirt, a lot of them thought she was hired as a billboard for the show; some even started taking pictures around her.

            “This is discrimination,” Drew argued. “You can’t deny her entry because of her size.”

            “According to the law, we are under no obligation to allow giants on the premises,” he recited, having been trained to give this response if necessary. “Legally, all we have to do is sell her the ticket.” As part of the coexistence mandate, businesses were required to serve clientele of all sizes. However, to prevent property damage and assure everyone’s safety, tiny establishments had the right to bar access to big people on the grounds that they could not fit inside their buildings as long as they still offered their services to them in some fashion. Big business’ could technically do the same, though the law usually only applied in cases where it’d be unsafe for tinies to have access. Outdoor venues, where bigs could often fit comfortably, were a legal grey zone. The logic was that their size still presented a nuisance to anyone else occupying the space. It was neither a strong argument nor an unbiased one, but it usually worked within the tiny courts the complaints wound up in.

            Drew returned to Sasha with his head hung low. “They’re not going to let us in,” he said as she lifted him up in her palm. “I guess they have a spot for big people down the street.”

            “It’s cool. I wouldn’t want to block anyone’s view.” She couldn’t admit how relieved she was to not have to step foot in that tiny infestation. Sasha carried her friend a couple blocks down until she reached an empty lot. The lot was surrounded on three sides by foot-tall, flat roofed buildings. There was enough room for one giant to fit in. It faced the side of the concert stage which was a few yards away. “I guess this is it.” Sasha sat down, using the buildings as arm and back rests. Her legs stretched out over the street, but the road was closed for the concert; the only caveat was that she had to raise her legs to let concertgoers cross under them. She placed Drew onto her bare shoulder which made for a softer seat. From where they were seated, the band performing the pre-show looked like specks of dust, but their speakers were loud enough to project into the outer edge of the city. “It’s a good thing Jess didn’t come,” Sasha said. “She’d have to sit in my lap.” Drew offered to buy Jess a ticket, but she had no love for metal. Beside that, she thought it’d be a great bonding moment for the two.

            “Are you comfortable?” Drew asked. “Sorry about all this. I thought that since it was outside, we wouldn’t have any issues.”

            “Dude, it’s cool. I can hear the music fine. That’s the important part.”

As twilight encroached, the pre-show wrapped up and the Spiders made their way onto the stage. Sasha was the only giant to have attended, much to the organizers’ delight as they only had the one lot. As the main performance was getting underway, three tinies approached Sasha.

“Yo, big lady, you got room for three more?” Lenny shouted. He sported a bright pink mohawk and a tattered leather vest.

“We can’t afford tickets, but you look like better company anyway,” Kurt remarked. He was shorter and stubby with golden blonde dreadlocks and tinted shades.

“We got beer,” Jeff added, lugging a cooler behind him, “though you’d prolly guzzle it all in one gulp.” He had shaggy brown hair and a sweat-stained long sleeve tee. Sasha didn’t know what to make of the three, but they looked like losers. Lenny undressed her with his eyes while Kurt took in her towering thighs.

“You can tell them to buzz off if you want,” Drew advised. “It’s not like they can do anything to you.” His words rung true for Sasha; peering down at them from above, she realized how much power she held over these skeezes. It was invigorating to think about. Dealing with creeps wasn’t so bad when you can literally flick them away.  Small things grossed Sasha out for as long as she could remember, small people especially. It wasn’t natural for something so miniscule to look so human, and she hated tinies for it until she actually met and spoke with one. They still looked gross from a distance, but glaring down at the trio, her disgust morphed into allure. The sheer difference in scale was staggering, giving the short, shy woman a rare chance to dominate a group of boisterous men. They’re people, not bugs, she had to remind herself.

“Sure, I’ve got room,” she said lowering her palm for the tiny trio. As the three hopped on, Sasha lifted them up to her right shoulder, opposite of where Drew was seated.

“Now this is what I call a view!” Lenny shouted, making himself comfortable beneath Sasha’s jawbone.

“It sure is,” Kurt muttered, staring down the slope of Sasha’s chest. The two idiots were too close to the woman’s neck for her to see them; Jeff stood farther out towards her arm, pulling cans out of his cooler.

“Would you like a beer, miss?” he offered. The can he was holding was no bigger than a Tic Tac.

“You’re joking, right?” Her chin nearly struck Lenny as she turned to face Jeff.

“Figure I gotta offer you something for the seat. Name’s Jeff, by the way.”

“Sasha. This is my friend, Drew.” She pointed at the tiny on her other shoulder, not realizing her neck obstructed them from seeing one another. Despite only being half a foot away from the other group, Drew felt like a third wheel as her other shoulder got all the attention. It would have been nice to cross over to the other tinies, but the back of Sasha’s neck was a sheer drop and the front, well, he didn’t want to get stuck downslope again. Afraid of being a bother, he sat alone silently and hoped things didn’t get too rowdy on the other side of the neck. “I appreciate the offer. I’ve never had tiny beer before.” Sasha tried grabbing the can with her fingers, but she applied too much pressure and crushed it before it reached her mouth. To call the amount of beer inside a drop would be generous. “Whoops.” She dropped the flattened can and licked the alcohol residue off her finger tip. “That’s not bad. Get me a thousand more of those and we’ll be even.”

“We were hoping you mighta brought some,” Lenny mentioned. “We’ve always wanted to go swimming in of those silos you biggos drink out of.”

“If I knew they wouldn’t let me in, I would have.” She turned her head to her left. “We’ll have to raid a bar for all they’ve got on the way out.” Drew smirked, wondering how his usual bartender would react. With the sun fully set, the concert was underway. The Four-Limbed Spiders electrified the crowd with their otherworldly riffs and soul shaking beats. To Sasha, it sounded like a recording of a live performance being played on her grandad’s boombox. The music was good at least, but next time she was taking Drew to a real concert, one her size. Jeff tossed Drew a beer behind Sasha’s neck. The four tinies emptied the cooler by the concert’s halfway point, Sasha downing a few drops herself. Kurt was beside himself, laughing at Lenny.

“How drunk are you?” Kurt slurred, “You fucking wet yourself, dude.” Lenny checked his crotch. The backside of his shorts were soaking wet. Everyone’s were. Even with the sun down, the temp was well above eighty, and Sasha was sweating like mad. She hoped it wasn’t noticeable to the people sitting on her, but tinies had a knack for noticing details bigs couldn’t. Lenny got on his hands and knees and lapped up the sweat off her skin.

“Yo, this stuff’s better than booze,” he said between licks. Sasha blenched at the sensation of the tiny tongue dragging across her skin. Her sudden flinching caused Jeff and Drew to fall onto their sides. Kurt rolled around guffawing as Lenny pretended to be a dog getting his water. They’re people, not bugs. They’re people, not bugs. They’re people, not bugs.

“Quit it, shithead!” Jeff shouted as he kicked him in the ass. Lenny fell forward and slid down Sasha’s chest into her cleavage.

“Aaaahhhhhhh!” Sasha stood up and screamed, waving her arms frantically as the miniature man fell deeper down her shirt. Kurt was sent careening down her sweaty back. Jeff fell over the edge of her shoulder, plummeting outside her shirt. He managed to grab hold of her denim pocket, hanging off the liner as she jumped around in a panic. Drew held his footing as he tried to calm the giantess down.

“Sasha! It’s alright! Just stop moving!” She couldn’t hear the man over her own screaming.

They’re bugs, not people. They’re bugs, not people.

As her flailing intensified, Drew lost his balance and cascaded down her chest, landing between the base of her breasts. He was lodged firmly between the soft mounds, boiling against her rising body heat. Lenny had fallen to her belly. He tried slowing his descent by grabbing at her tummy fat, but her skin was so slick that he just kept sliding. Kurt was careening down the middle of her back like he was on a ninety-degree waterslide. Sasha pushed her arms into the front and back of her tank top, trying and failing to grab hold of the tinies all over her. She twisted and turned to get at the men in her clothes, but all her writhing was to no avail. Jeff lost his hold on her shorts and rolled down the front of her leg, finally falling into her boot beneath the tongue. Lenny stopped himself at her navel, his lower half dangling out of it as he tried to worm his way inside. Kurt’s legs got caught in the rim of Sasha’s shorts, keeping him from falling deeper inside or over the edge. Drew managed to keep himself in her cleavage, leaning up against the wall of her chest, sweat pouring over him like a wide-open faucet. Sasha kept fumbling around until she recalled the crowd of people a couple feet away.

Most of the audience was staring at the giant woman making a scene just outside the concert venue. “Yeah! Shake it! You rock, big lady!” they shouted. Some of them were mimicking her movements, others were just laughing at her. Even the band were cognizant of the commotion going on, though they continued performing without letting anything on. Sasha’s face grew redder than a tomato. She stumbled backwards, accidentally sitting on the building behind her. It buckled and creaked under her weight, almost collapsing had she not leaped right off it. She turned around to check the damage, tripping in the process and landing on her butt just outside the fence surrounding the outdoor venue. Lenny and Kurt fell out of her shirt onto the street below, only suffering minor scrapes and bruises. Screaming incoherently, Sasha got up and ran away as fast as she could. At this hour, the streets were practically empty, allowing her to sprint out of the tiny district without much hindrance.

Before long, she was past the border and back to her normal, where buildings towered over her and the sidewalks were wide enough to walk on. But before she got very far, she was stopped by a border patrolman.

“Excuse me, miss. Is everything alright?” he asked, holding his hand out at her. A big person running out of the tiny district usually wasn’t a good sign, and it was the patrolman’s job to act on such suspicions.

“Sorry,” Sasha said, panicked and out of breath. “Nothing happened. I just, I- I-”

“Is he supposed to be there?” the guard asked, pointing at her breasts. Drew was still lodged in her cleavage.

“It’s fine, officer, we’re friends,” Drew said. “We were at a concert and got a little drunk, but nobody got hurt and nothing was damaged.” There was the sat on building that probably wouldn’t meet its inspection requirements anymore, but Drew was banking on no one noticing that until they were long gone. The officer bought into Drew’s story; he had seen his fair share of kidnapped tinies and Drew didn’t show any telltale signs of coercion. Still, the patrolman had to be sure and checked in on his radio.

“Nothing to report,” another patrolman dispatched. “A woman caused a commotion at a concert, but nothing significant came from it.”

“You two, you’re free to go. Just take it easy next time you visit.” He waved them off and returned to his post. Sasha pulled Drew out from her cleavage and carried him to where she parked her car.

“Glad that’s over,” she sighed. “That was so embarrassing.”

“I’m really sorry. None of that went as I planned.” Drew stared down at her palm, too downtrodden at how their night went to look her in the eye.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” she said, poking at his head. “I had fun too. Those three dumbasses were amusing at least. Next time though, let’s stay on my side where I don’t have to worry about tripping over a car.”

“Sure,” Drew replied, laughing with her. The two reached Sasha’s car, where she placed her friend in the passenger seat. As she got in, she stomped her foot against the floor. “Something wrong?” Drew asked.

“Nah. I must’ve gotten a rock stuck in my boot.” Weirdly enough, it felt like it was stuck on top of her foot, at the base of the boot’s tongue. “Whatever, I’ll get it out when I get home.”

…

            The next day, Drew sat on the couch with his girlfriend as they watched the morning news together. Sasha had dropped him off at Jess’ after the concert before returning to her own apartment. It had been an uneventful week and a slow news day, but one story caught their attention.

            “Last night, popular mini-metal band, the Four-Limbed Spiders, performed at Lassiter Square to a sea of cheering fans,” the anchorwoman reported.

            “But they weren’t the only ones being cheered on, were they?” her co-host chimed in.

            “One massive fan made quite the splash among the tiny audience, dancing erratically in a video that has since gone viral.” The program cut to footage of Sasha “dancing” as she desperately tried to get Jeff, Kurt, and Lenny out of her clothes. As awkward as she looked, her movements did resemble dancing in a drunken, flailing sort of way. A wide grin stretched across Jess’ face as Drew recoiled in second-hand embarrassment. “Fans across social media have dubbed her dance move: ‘Scratching the Itch.’” Jess pulled out her phone and texted everyone Sasha knew to turn on the news. The program cut to an interview with the Spiders’ lead-singer just after the concert.

            “We don’t get many big people at our live performances,” he said into the camera, “and when we do, they’re usually reserved, afraid to stand out. We appreciate the energy she brought tonight because it shows us how music can span barriers, and that’s what motivates us as artists. We hope to spot her at another show.” The news cut back to b-roll of Sasha. Jess paused the TV, squinting at something she noticed on the screen. She got off the couch and stood an inch away from the display. Her attention was drawn to Sasha’s chest where a puny blonde head was just barely poking out. Jess turned to her boyfriend, her arms crossed as she sauntered back to the couch. Beads of sweat dotted Drew’s forehead.

            “If I’m not mistaken, that’s the third time I’ve found you down her shirt,” she said, looming over his feeble body.

            “It was an accident, I swear,” he pleaded from the couch cushion far below. “I don’t know why it keeps happening. And one of those times was your fault!”

            “Excuses, excuses,” she shook her head. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had a thing for her boobs.” Jess crouched down, her imposing face eclipsing all else from Drew’s view. “Remember this, little man, I can do anything to you,” she licked her lips, her oppressive breath washing over Drew’s puny frame, “so you best stay on my good side.” Drew trembled before his girlfriend, taking note of her threat.

            “So, uh, do you want to do ‘anything’ right now?” he asked, pressing his index fingers together. Jess smirked and scooped Drew off the sofa with her tongue, carrying him in her mouth to the bedroom.