Mixing Sizes by TerryLarka

            Drew and Chris were sitting together at the bar. As usual, the place was empty save for a pair of elderly women gossiping at the other end of the bar and the bartender himself straightening the shelves behind him. The two were celebrating Chris’ recent proposal to his girlfriend, Keiko, whom Chris was elated to be marrying towards the end of the year. However, despite the good news and good drinks, the newly betrothed was in a dour mood.

“Keiko wants to double up with you two. Y’ know, like a group date,” he told Drew. Chris’ eyes sank as he spoke, wishing he had stood up to his fiancé on the matter. “She says it’ll help me get over my ‘paranoia,’ as if I’m the crazy one. Hanging around you guys makes me feel like I’m the only sane person left.”

In juxtaposition to his friend, Drew was excited by the idea. “She’s right. Once you meet Jess, you won’t be so scared of big people.”

“If we make it back alive. Keiko said she’s up for whatever you guys wanna do. I’m not though, so pick something simple. And it’s bad enough I have to be near your girlfriend, don’t take us somewhere I’ll have to interact with more big people.” Drew was too busy texting Jess to hear anything his friend said.

“Have you ever met a giant before?” the bartender asked. “They aren’t as bad as you make them out to be.”

“I’ve heard plenty of stories from reputable sources.”

“Like ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’?” Drew remarked. Chris ignored him and continued ranting.

“It’s instinctual. They think they’re superior to us, that we’re just there to be eaten or trampled on.” Drew went back to ignoring him. “Some of them are more conniving. They’ll act all friendly to lure you in: go on a few dates, pleasure you in ways you didn’t think possible, all just to get you comfortable so they can devour you when you least expect it.” Drew’s phone lit up with a new message.

“Jess says she’s thrilled to meet you,” he said, flashing his screen to Chris. Shivers ran down his back. There were too many ways for him to misinterpret her message.

“I’m sure she is.”

…

            “How are these ones?” Jess asked nervously.

            “They’re not as burnt this time,” Drew responded. They were sitting at her kitchen table, Drew technically sitting on it, trying to choke down tiny, burnt steaks. This was her sixth attempt at cooking tiny food in preparation for their double date. She decided to have Chris and Keiko over for a home cooked meal, thinking it would put them at ease if they didn’t have to meet up somewhere packed with big people. It took Drew and Keiko two hours to convince Chris to go along with it.

            “Ok, but did she say she ‘wants us over for dinner’ or ‘wants us for dinner’?” he had scrutinized.

            Drew poked at the charred lump of meat in front of him. “Are you sure you don’t want my help?”

            “No way,” Jess said, putting two more miniscule cuts in her frying pan. Costco sold them in bulk; each bag had a hundred mini fillets, enough to make up one regular sized strip. With how things were going, Drew was afraid she was going to burn through the whole bag on tests. “I got this.” This was her first time meeting Drew’s friends, and she felt a need to prove herself to them. She left the steaks on for half a minute on the stove’s lowest setting until they were brown on the outside. Meat had only entered the tiny diet within the past hundred years when small entrepreneurs found a way to cut into a market dominated by people big enough to kill and consume an animal. They would sneak into factories and butcheries to steal whatever scraps of byproducts they could get their hands on and smuggle them back into the tiny districts. The new cuisine didn’t catch on at first, but the meat dregs did spark a desire for the real thing and led directly to advancements in synthetic meat production among tiny populations. Today, tiny meats accurately replicate the taste of their biological counterparts at a thousandth of the size. However, all tiny food products are made for tiny cookware, making it extremely difficult for regular people to prepare.

            “Alright, I think I got it this time.” The steak she put in front of Drew looked promising. For starters, it was brown on the outside instead of black, and the meat was tender instead of brittle. But when he cut into it, it was completely red inside.

            “Hey, you undercooked these ones. That’s sort of an improvement,” he joked. She tossed the other steak into her mouth, a small flake of meat disappearing into her cavernous maw. It fell onto a molar where it was quickly decimated into microscopic bits.

            “I can barely taste it and even I can tell it’s awful.” Jess collapsed into her chair, defeated.

            “Maybe try something easier. Like pasta. Or cereal,” he teased. Jess scowled and gave him the evil eye.

            “Yeah, something that tastes good raw,” she posited while picking Drew up by the back of his shirt. “Some chattering little thing that can get this awful taste out of my mouth.” She dropped the tiny man onto her tongue and pulled him inside. The subtle odor of burnt meat lingered in her breath. Just as Drew began regaining his balance on the squishy, wet muscle, Jess slammed him against the roof of her mouth. Saliva oozed all around him as she dragged her tongue across his body. Drew relaxed, letting her tastebuds conform to him as her tongue moved back and forth. Inside her mouth, he could feel her stand up and walk over to the stove.

            “Ok, sorry. I’ll keep my comments to myself.” His pitch rose as he spoke, unsure what she had planned for him. “You can let me out now.” Jess deposited him in her cheek so she could talk.

            “Nope. You’re staying in there ‘til I get this right.” Her tongue scooped him back up, and she continued to suck on his bite-size frame as she plopped another two steaks on the pan.

            “Please,” he begged as pools of spit poured into his mouth, “I don’t want to be in here forever.”

…

            After receiving a text notifying the couple’s arrival, Jess opened the door for Chris and Keiko. The two were so small in the apartment complex’s hallway that Jess would have completely missed them had she not been expecting them. Keiko was a slim woman with long, jet black hair, standing half a millimeter shorter than her fiancé. She craned her neck upward, beaming towards her giant host.

            “Hi, Jess! It’s great to meet you!” she shouted, waving her arm high above her. Chris kept his gaze to the floor, not willing to confront the reality before him.

            “I’m so glad you both made it. Come in.” She stepped aside to let them walk through. Drew was standing by his girlfriend’s socked foot, ready to reassure his best friend he wasn’t in danger. As he entered the apartment, Chris took a glance at the massive woman. He had never seen a giant in person, and the difference in scale was staggering. At six feet, Jess was already tall for a human, but compared to the two-inch tiny she was titanic. It was as if a shapely skyscraper had come to life before him. Where they were standing, a single step forward would be enough to wipe them out. Her smiling face, bearing down on him from the heavens, only fueled his anxiety further. Keiko, on the other hand, was ecstatic. While she’s been around big people before, this was her first chance at getting to know one. The fact that they were so similar to tinies despite the monumental difference in size fascinated her.

            The four walked to the kitchen, exchanging pleasantries along the way. Jess had to take smaller steps in shorter intervals to keep from getting ahead of everyone else. Even with her reserved gait, her foot fell beside them with a noticeable force, but the sound wasn’t as booming as Chris expected. Her socks dampened the noise of her sole colliding with the hardwood floor, keeping the walk to the kitchen pleasantly quiet. And Chris was always told giants let their feet grow fetid since their noses were too far up to notice how disgusting they were, but even a few inches away, he couldn’t smell a thing. In truth, Jess had scrubbed them thoroughly not long before the couple’s arrival, mortified by the thought that her BO would sully their first impression of her.

Upon reaching the table, Jess crouched down and laid her hand onto the floor, gesturing for her companions to climb aboard. Keiko hopped on without hesitating with Drew following shortly behind. Chris looked up at the table. From his perspective, he could only see the underside of it; there was no telling what was waiting on the surface. Visions filled his mind: an empty plate, a fork and knife, some garnishes, dipping sauce, all set up in preparation for the main course’s arrival.

“Chris, hurry up,” his fiancé commanded. Drew had his arm outstretched to help his friend up the palm. With a nervous gulp, Chris grabbed Drew’s hand and climbed onto the platform of flesh. She gently brought them up toward the table. It felt strange to have so many tinies in her hand at once, but her time with Drew taught her the right speed for lifting them. Keiko jumped up and down on her palm, like a kid on an elevator; even the simple act of being picked up by a giant excited her, though her bouncing worried Jess as she concentrated on keeping a steady hand.

When they finally reached the tabletop, the tiny couple was surprised to see a miniature table and chairs set up in the center. Little plates and utensils sat upon the tiny table surrounding a puny bouquet of synthetic flowers.

“Did you do all this for us?” Keiko gasped.

“Of course,” Jess responded. “I’ve been buying a lot of tiny furniture recently. Figured as long as I’m with Drew, I’m going to have a lot of smaller company.” She didn’t get what Keiko was so impressed with. Tiny furniture is really cheap. Not even the fanciest stuff goes for much more than thirty or forty dollars. “You guys take a seat. I’ll have your food ready in a minute.” Drew handed her their plates. Jess pinched them between her fingers with well-honed precision and brought them to the stove.

“Drew, she’s not making food our size, is she?” Keiko asked.

“She sure is. You’re going to be amazed.” Keiko watched in bewilderment as Jess tossed three flakes of meat into a large frying pan. Chris was focused on the empty plate at edge of the larger table they were using as a floor. It could easily fit the three tinies and then some. He was about to start catastrophizing again when Keiko punched him in the arm.

“Are you seriously still scared of her eating you?” She spoke in a hushed tone, not wanting her host to hear. Jess was too far to hear them anyway as she prepared dinner. “Stop being such an idiot. It’s rude.” Chris rubbed his arm, wishing his fiancé would hold back once in a while. “You can’t keep acting like this. I’m not marrying a coward.” Chris meekly apologized while Drew sat back quietly; both knew not to speak up when she was upset.

Jess came back with their food: strip steaks and steamed, minced vegetables. Keiko’s scowl morphed back into a large grin as her focus shifted from her fiancé to Jess’ cooking. The steak’s savory aroma was strong enough to distract Chris from his paranoia for a moment. Once the tiny table was set, Jess grabbed her plate and piled her food on. Her meal was practically identical to her guests, though obviously at a much greater scale. Her full plate eased Chris’ anxiety somewhat. “I started mine early, so we could all eat together. Let me know what you think.” The pair bit into the steaks, eyes bulging as they tasted them. Jess waited desperately for their thoughts, praying she didn’t mess it all up.

“This is amazing!” Keiko shouted. Each strip had just the right amount of pink inside. “These are perfectly seasoned. How’d you do that?” The tiny woman was dumbfounded. Tiny seasonings are near microscopic, making them extremely unwieldy for big people.

“It took a lot of practice,” Jess admitted. Drew shuddered as the memory of a hundred failed meals coursed through his mind. Chris was too focused on eating to say anything. He was beyond impressed with the effort she put into this. No ordinary person could pull off such a feat, and there was no reason to if she was just going to eat them after. Maybe I am being an idiot, he thought while gorging. She did all this for us, and I’m still acting like she’s some kinda monster. I should apologize. Chris swallowed and started to say something.

Happy her cooking came out well, Jess dug into her own food. Her steak was so big it wouldn’t have fit in Chris and Keiko’s bedroom. Despite its immense size, she cut into it with ease. Chris watched her bring a chunk of meat bigger than his body into her mouth where it was quickly pulverized by her teeth. Reminded of the unfathomable power she wielded over him, Chris shut up and went back to eating.

“I forgot to mention, congratulations on the engagement!” Jess said. “When’s the wedding?” Chris was too concerned by the crushed bits of meat stuck in her teeth to respond.

“Thank you! We’re planning on November. I can’t wait.” Keiko said, nudging her fiancé with her elbow to get him to stop staring.

“Wow, my friend Macy’s getting married in November too!”

“What a coincidence,” Keiko replied. “We’ll have to coordinate so you two can attend both.” Chris shot a look towards Keiko.

“We can’t invite her,” he whispered. “How’s she supposed to fit in a church?”

“We’ll figure it out!” she quietly scolded. After Chris backed off, she went back to talking to Jess with a warm smile on her face. It always scared Drew how quickly she could switch between pissed and cheerful.

…

            Once dinner was wrapped up, Jess and Chris went to the living room to play video games. Drew was giving Keiko a tour of the apartment; they both decided leaving the two alone would be the best way to get Chris acclimated to her. “It’s like how the fastest way to learn a new language is to be stranded in a foreign country,” Drew remarked.

            Chris sat next to Jess as she booted up Guilty Gear. He was only a couple inches from her, her thighs stretching up like impregnable barriers. Drew’s description of her “killer ass” echoed through his mind as he tried to ignore its immensity. As scared as he was of the woman, he understood exactly what Drew saw in her.

            “Do you need any practice rounds?” she asked. “To- Oh, what was his excuse? To get used to the bigger screen?” She got a chuckle out of the tiny.

            “That sounds like something he’d come up with. I’m ready if you are.”

            Chris fared much better than Drew did, coming on top in a few matches. He was about evenly skilled with Jess, and for the first time that evening, he wasn’t burdened by a sense of inferiority to her.

            “Y’know, you’re a lot better than Drew makes you out to be,” Jess said.

            “Don’t tell him I said this, but I always go easy on him. Dude sucks at this game.”

            “No shit. He lost so badly one time I put him in my sock.” Jess had the heel of her foot resting on the couch cushion. Her toes wiggled vigorously from within her sock. Chris broke out in a cold sweat. “What d’ya say, want to play for keeps?” Chris put his controller down.

            “Maybe another time. My fingers are cramping up.”

…

            Jess brought Drew, Chris, and Keiko outside to the spot reserved for tinies in her building’s parking lot. The patterns painted into it essentially turned one spot into a whole ‘nother parking lot that connected directly to the underground road network tinies used. She lowered them to their car, letting Drew see his friends off.

            “Your girlfriend is so amazing, Drew,” Keiko exclaimed. “We have to do this again sometime.” Chris got in close to Drew. Even if Jess’ ears were six feet into the sky, he wanted to be sure she didn’t hear him.

            “Hey, do you think she could tell how freaked out I was?” he asked, embarrassed that he had to bring it up.

            “I wouldn’t worry about it,” Drew responded, “Some of her friends are just as weird around me.”

            “That’s good. I kinda feel bad for thinking so lowly of her. She isn’t anything like everyone makes giants out to be.” Drew decided not to question how many people “everyone” actually referred to, appreciative that his friend was finally giving her a chance. “Sorry for always getting on your case about her.”

            “It’s all good. You were just looking after me.” The couple said their goodbyes and drove off, leaving Jess and Drew to return to the apartment. Jess picked her boyfriend back up and went inside.

            “What’d they say? It was so loud out there, I couldn’t hear them,” she asked.

            “They had a great time and would like to hang out more.”

            “That’s good,” she said, breathing a sigh of relief. “I kinda teased Chris about putting him in my sock and thought I might have scared him off.”

            “You did what!?”