Roomies Reviews:

Review for Chapter 12: Exposed
(Copy/Pasted from GW with small additions)

Immediately after my last review I succumbed to temptation and read Chapter 12. I've been ruminating on how I should frame my review since then, because I don't want to come across as overly-critical, or as a detractor of an amazing story. As my ratings have consistently shown, you have gone above and beyond my expectations chapter after chapter. This story is excellent, the characters are wonderful, and the plot is incredible. You have consistently used direct comparisons of characters actins in different scenarios to lead us to compare characters actions, and to guide us to conclusions you then rocked with Magnitude 10 earthquakes as you dropped new context on us. You have established incredible characters, and maintained the core of who they are, while allowing them to grow, or to expose more of themselves, or to break out of their anti-social shells. You have presented us with moral conundrums, shown how abuse begets abuse, and brilliantly argued for the consideration of context, both current and past, in judging an individual's actions. AND ALL OF THIS WITHOUT A WORD OF IT STATED EXPLICITLY THROUGH NARRATION, EXPOSITION, OR DIALOGUE!

I'm blown away. This has been an incredible ride, with so many developments, revelations, and a HUGE twist ending.

BUT HOW IS THIS COMPLETE: YES?

That one question is likely coloring my entire review, because the "ending" was such a surprise, such a shock, and frankly somewhat confounding. I understand you intend to continue the story, but... I have a hard time accepting this story as complete. There are too many unanswered questions.

- Who is behind the shrinking? We have a name, but is this personal? Business? Is this Baneford person the driving force, or just a middle manager for a larger, looming threat? We've seen mention of a major company moving into the area, and my reader-senses are tingling that it's not just background noise / a red herring.
- Why Duncan? What's his connection to this whole thing? He wasn't an asshole in his position at Monica's company, so I doubt it's business, but why would it be personal, unless he somehow upset a powerful family that fostered him? There are details that could be hints towards this, but there's no answer.
- What is the other function of the nanites? I find myself hoping that it's a tracker, because Ada & Co. are going to need that!
- What is Lyra's deal? What are her goals, why is she doing this?
- What's the deal with this chapter title breaking from the naming convention?
- Most importantly, when is Ada going to get her shrunken man?

These pressing, vital questions and more are left unanswered. I can understand this being the first part of a story, but at least do us a favor and retitle this as Roomies: Part 1. That sudden, unfinished ending is too cruel for this gentle story, but if I know that it's a complete Part 1, rather than a complete story, I could accept this outcome.
(For the record, I acknowledge that I personally deserve such an ending and worse after what I've done to my poor readers for Small Investments, but your other readers don't deserve such an incredible story made pint-sized in the final hour.)

Damn, I did what I told myself I wouldn't and I focused on the abrupt ending. Aside from my hang-up on the cliffhanger, I want to just reiterate what an incredible job you've done with this story. From character building to character development to conveying detail and sense of scale, to using and manipulating reader expectations and abusing poor communication among characters before using good communication to help them grow, I could go on and on waxing rhapsodic about your talented use of literary tools to craft a beautiful, wonderful, incredible story.

I await your next entry into what needs to be a series with great anticipation.

Review for Chapter 11: Ada vs. the Sultry Showoffs
(Copy/Pasted from GW)

Hey, It Was Me? I'm getting a little concerned here. I'm down to one chapter left in a story that's Complete: Yes, and I don't actually see the end in sight. You're too talented of an author to rush the ending, so, uh... I really hope that Duncan, Callie, and Co. are Okay at the end of this. Nothing completes a story more completely than a permanent, biblical ending.

Alright, now that's off my chest, let's dig in. I have to say, I shamefully did not consider Monica and Kristie might bond over their shared trauma, or rather, the trauma they imparted unto people undeserving of it. I can see Kristie was actively trying to get Monica to do what she had threatened, but that does not absolve Monica of her responsibility, and I'm glad to see she knows this. Still, I hate to see her suffer. She did something unforgiveable, as has Kristie, but that doesn't erase the rest of their existence, and I am still rooting for Monica, and I've finally come around to rooting for Kristie too. I totally want to see Monica & Kristie officially together at the end of this, with both of them working to smooth out their worst acquired interpersonal behaviors. Especially Kristie's. I'm expecting another comparative scene, where instead of Duncan, and then Callie trying to get everyone to trust Ada (which is suddenly seeming like a BAD MOVE), we instead see Monica trying to get the others to accept Kristie as part of the group.

And speaking of Ada... that uncomfortable-comfortable voyeur and really willing - super horny exhibitionist scene was hot as fuck! Great use of a simple, but effective prop, both to turn Duncan into a finger fuck-puppet, and to finish Ada off by hanging him out to soak in Callie's saliva. Start to finish, you really drew me in like a second voyeur in the room. I love how well you teased Ada by including her in the action with Callie's attentiveness, without ever actually, physically including her in the sex. Wonderful job. 10/10.

But then there was Ada's sexually-frustrated post FTB scene, and that stinger at the end. Ada isn't telling our leading lady, nor her beloved finger fuckit, that there's more to the nanomachines than was presented at the start. I don't think it's been framed by Catamaunt as a bad thing, else I expect Ada would have put a stop to it, but I do not like Ada keeping secrets. Her judgement has been shown to be... rather naive at times. I just hope whatever's going on doesn't hurt or separate our happy couple. If that, "If another tiny man shows up on somebody’s doorstep, I’m calling dibs," isn't foreshadowing, then I'm actually the height I want to be. I don't think it's Alyssia, but I have a sinking feeling for Callie.

And then there's that stinger. Things are going well, and we already have one ominous secret threatening our happy, mixed-size couple. Now Natasha's back in the picture. May she find what she deserves.

Review for Chapter 10: Duncan vs. the Diffident Domme
(Copy/Pasted from GW with small addition)

Apologies for a shorter-than-average review, but it's late, and I'm not firing on all cylinders.

The opening scene was fun and touching, in both of the good ways. Duncan and Callie are not just communicating, but opening up to each other, and that's fantastic. Frankly, this story is very much a guide for defining and attaining mixed-size relationship goals.

Callie getting all creative and adventurous again with taking Duncan out on her walk with her friend is a double header of great reminders of why Callie is such an awesome person. I love the balance she's finding between her protective urges, and her developing assertiveness. She needs more of that, and I'm so proud of Duncan for pushing her to be more assertive. I've heard it said there are seven words that can make a woman fall in love with you, and apparently "I'm proud of you. I trust you," fits the bill. Those lines, and your set-up and character reactions around them, was excellent. I was experiencing full-on frission by the end of that scene.

Kristie and Monica's scene hurt, for several reasons, really. I feel a lot of sympathy for Kristie - what happened to her is not her fault, and I find it hard to blame her for her personality. That being said, she is still accountable for her actions, and she raped her tiny boyfriend. That act will never be forgiven. But I could still accept her as a person, if she could stop lashing out like a rabid dog. I understand that people don't just turn around from that - they need someone to help them, and that's why this hurts double. Monica is now probably the only person, perhaps aside from Duncan, who cares about what happened, and what will happen to Kristie. However, Monica effectively sabotaged any chances she had of helping Kristie through her trauma when she blackmailed the tiny into being an agreeing, yet effectively unwilling, victim of sexual assault. Right there was the tiny girlfriend (some re-assembly required) I was hoping Monica would find, but her anger and her lust combined into a perfect storm to deprive them both of the care they needed before it had a chance to develop.

At least things, almost, ended on a positive note. Callie's gentle dom act was cute and sexy, and I absolutely loved seeing her play her simple, near-effortless games requiring quite the workout from her tiny lover. It's so wonderful seeing them open up and pursue their needs and wants together. It's heartwarming to see their love, and trust, and respect blossom and grow. Great chapter!

But things didn't end there, and to be honest, I was briefly concerned for Alyssia's sake. For a few moments, I was afraid Monica would need to find a new assistant after the current one was downsized. While that did not happen, that does not mean the rest of the scene set my mind at ease. We're seeing conspiracy and frustration. I'm becoming increasingly worried for the feminine members of our little found family.

All in all, great chapter, and I'm looking forward to reading the next one!

P.S. LOVED the chapter title. Great use of "diffident!"

Review for Chapter 9: Callie vs. the Delectable Date
(Copy/Pasted from GW)

Alright, I was able to read another chapter tonight!

I like the tone set by the opening scene with Ada. Duncan has been pretty accepting of his reality, and this is the first real look we're getting of him getting frustrated with his lack of physical agency. I have a feeling that as he gets more intimate with Callie, this will be a more common occurrence - not necessarily Duncan losing his cool, but him coming up against barriers that he can't overcome with effort.

Great introduction to date-mode Callie. I'm glad she's letting Duncan treat her. For same size relationships this could result in a power imbalance, or cause friction over financials, but given the physical power imbalance, this is a good way for them to even things out on a different scale. I'm glad Callie is conscious of the expense, but still willing to let Duncan treat her. Also, poor Alyssia is the but of so many jokes that I'm glad she got some of her revenge last chapter, and got a great start to a passionate night of self-guided relaxation. Also, the chauffeur's uniform is an excellent gag. Absolutely love it, especially when she points to dinky Duncan and claims he "forced" her to wear it.

The car scene was delightfully spicy. I know it's not the fist time you've used it in this story, but referring to her breasts as "girlflesh" still feels like a new descriptor to me. It's self-descriptive, yet exotic, and I find it strangely evocative. Absolutely love it, and I cannot promise I won't steal it at some point. Still, that wasn't the only spicy bit, and Callie's unquestioning determination to "fuck Duncan's brains out" is a promise I fully intended to see fulfilled. I was thinking to myself, "there better not be a bait and switch, dammit!"

The setting for the dinner is absolutely perfect, and I'm glad you managed to incorporate the entire cast into the date. I'm also really glad that Ada is officially part of the group; she's not just physically present, but she's been accepted by everyone. I also want to mention that I love Monica's use of manila folders for sensitive information almost as much as I hate what you do with them. The teasing, the foreshadowing, the mystery all up in my face! It is not okay! Well, I mean, it makes the story and the reveal just that much better, so I won't count it against you, but know that those folders you use grant you great power. Continue to handle such scenes with the great responsibility they deserve.

The discussion over the entre gave us a nice look at Duncan's past, but there's something going on with the Brenadines and Duncan that just isn't jiving for me. You have dropped a bunch of hints and left clear indicators for this, so I feel like I'm just following along thus far with the slow unveil as intended. If I had to make a leap of story logic forward, I would assume that the boy whose injury was blamed on Kristie was really injured by Duncan while he was with the Brenadines. What's not clear to me is if Duncan is actually a blood relation of the Brenadines as well, but I see it as a possibility with the mysterious past before Duncan turned 4. I'm also wondering if the injured boy (who I believe to be a Brenadine) or one of his family members targeted Duncan and Kristie as revenge for the incident. That I do feel is rather likely, though I could see them being targeted as a matter of convenience, rather than the shrinking tech being developed specifically for Duncan and Kristie, and whomever else might end up affected.

Sorry, right, this is a review. I'll take off my tinfoil hat now, and stop wondering if one or more of the girls will end up shrunk, with the new dynamic shaking up Callie and Duncan's relationship before the end.

So, right, where were we? Oh, dessert! Oh my god, the chocolate fountain was an inspiration! I love Callie's seductively devious mind. The two of them are an awesome couple, and this scene bares that fact to the world (or Monica at least) in all its sexy glory. I love how well you direct Callie's use of her entire mouth, and how Callie makes use of her understanding that Duncan has a taste for rougher play. Callie's power, the sensuous descriptions, and Duncan's perseverance made this scene hot as hell, but I think my favorite part was the confluence of a flustered Callie, a cool cat Duncan, and a wide-eyed Monica when she caught them in the act. "Theck pleath" shall forever be associated with this scene. Goodness, i was so happy with this chapter, that was a great way to end it, ready to pick up where they left off in the next chapt- er...

HOLY HANNAH, IT'S NOT OVER YET!

I may have yelled that aloud, much to the displeasure of my neighbor in the apartment next door, but holy shit did Callie and Duncan hit the bedroom running! Everything from the action to the pillow talk to the full on couple's banter was on point, and I laughed my ass off at the reference to the couch incident (which I suspect was not a 1 time thing...) Once again, I have to praise your graphic descriptions of movement and details, and I love how much agency Duncan had with pleasuring Callie, rather than being used as a masturbatory aid. Great scene, 14 out of 10. And then to end it with both of them satisfied, content, and best of all, at peace? *Chef's kiss* Simply magnificent!

Review for Chapter 8: Duncan vs. the Resigned Roommate
(Copy/Pasted from GW)

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT HAPPENED IT HAPPENED ITHAPPENEDITHAPPENED!

FINALLY! THEY COMMUNICATED!

Sorry, I'm a bit excited at the moment. Damn, you know how to close out a chapter on a high point. Anyway, the rest of the chapter deserves attention too, so let's start at the beginning again.

To misquote Bennet from The Sorcerer's Apprentice, "I don't know what you're into Ada, but you are definitely, participating! Gah, I'm so glad to see Alyssia, and by extension Monica, warming up to our socially awkward, needy nerdy girl. I really want the best for Ada, even if Duncan and Co are bringing her to the Dark Side for all the right reasons. I love that we even get a The Empire Strikes Back reference from Alyssia!

Still, I gotta hand it to Duncan. It's not original, but slashing the Naughty Professor's tires proved to be a masterful stroke of complete genius. Not only did it get him some quality time with Alyssia, but it got Callie out from under the sexually abusive thumb of her tormenter. Okay, I definitely felt the heavy hand of plot advancement there, but I can buy into the premise if it means Ickwell gets his comeuppance.

Seeing as Monica was keeping Stillwell busy by asking for help, I'm surprised we didn't see any clear signs of her bringing a gift of high proof spirits as a gift. It didn't need to be stated, but mention of a gift from Monica, the peaty scent of a high quality Scotch on Sickwell's breath, or a slight exaggeration to his confident swagger all might have pointed to a lubricating effect to Stillwell's tongue. It would have made his outburst a bit more believable.

Anyway, Stillwell got what was coming (or at least a piece of it), but I can't move on from that scene without commenting on one line in particular. "I wanted to shove him inside me so bad this morning, but I had to settle for his couch instead." That line just freaking blew my mind. She was so horny for her roomie, she used his couch as a dildo. I've never seen that, I never expected to see that, and I think that is hot as hell. It also makes me think Duncan needs to watch himself around his pent-up roomie, especially on their first date. God, I can't wait.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I need to touch on Alyssia's game. I freaking loved that scene. She tries to one-up little Duncan, and he fucking BLOWS her challenge out of the water, while awakening something inside her. I find myself now hoping that Alyssia gets her own tiny roomie, though hopefully more willing than Monica's. Not that willingness seems to matter to her *grumblegripegrumble* but I want Alyssia to be happy with a tiny who is also happy to be with her.

And then there's Callie. Horny, desperate, love-bitten Callie. I laughed my ass off at her time in the bar. Constantly comparing all these men to her perfect little roomie. I absolutely adored her loyalty, her dedication, her admiration for Duncan. I'm not gonna lie, after the previous chapter I was a little afraid for Duncan when she came home. I legitimately feared that she might give Duncan a repeat of his time with Kristie, shattering their relationship, and requiring it to be built up over time, while they tried to hide her transgression from the others out of guilt and embarrassment, (misplaced as those would be on Duncan's part).

I am so, so glad that didn't happen, and I didn't have to put my keyboard through a window. I'm so happy to see them together, and planning their first official date. I'm glad they finally talked, even if it felt like someone used my emotions to pull nails out of wet 2x4's to get there. But in a good way...

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to reading how things go on their first date! i don't know if I'm hoping Callie can contain herself for Duncan's sake, or if she can't for my enjoyment's sake.

The latter. Definitely the latter.

Review for Chapter 7: Duncan vs. the Ethical Endeavor
(Copy/Pasted from GW)

Whelp, i just spent two hours writing an in-depth and thorough review for this chapter, only to accidentally reload the page and lose it... so I'm going to paraphrase here.

Great chapter, even if the last scene feels off. Kristie feels both pitiful, and pitiable, and I don't feel like this style of punishment will do anything to curtail her behavior. That's in part due to her constant outbursts despite clear and present danger, and from the mysterious file. That Kristie would rather be raped than have that file's contents revealed points to a person who has done terrible things and not learned, or who is too absorbed in their self image for trauma to change her.

I'm glad Duncan reigned in Callie's semi-conscious attempts to harm Kristie, for which I can't blame the girl. She has felt neutered against her own abuser, save for the last, near-disastrous act of defiance, and now her love's abuser is literally within her grasp. I'm impressed some squeezing is the worst that happened until Monica got her hands on little Kristie.

The last scene, if decoupled from the story, was a very hot cruel-lite scene. I really likes the casual power, the effortless dominance, the strain of Monica trying to carry on the conversation, Callie holding herself back from masturbating along to the amorous gasps and moans, and awakening to new desires for her interactions with Duncan.

However, in the context of the story, this scene feels off. I can see Monica using Blackmail against the other employees in her company to keep them in line. I can't see her using it to assuage her guilt over using her physicality to rape someone, even if that someone is an abuser. Thematically, this story has been about decrying the evils of abuse in all its forms, including and even highlighting sexual abuse, and suddenly it's being used to justify Monica getting her rocks off. I definitely felt off with this, like the part of a Season 6 Supernatural episode where we watch a major character do something totally uncharacteristic, and we haven't yet learned that they no longer have a soul.

Anyway, it was a solid chapter, with an objectively hot scene at the end that happened to feel subjectively off-kilter. I'm really hoping I can read another chapter tomorrow night.