Chapter 2 - I’m into you

“Mike, what the fuck!?”

I wish I could tell you I managed to find a good retort. Something, anything, to not freak out the man I love, to make him realize that all was okay. That waking up between my arms, my cock deep inside of him was just something we’d soon laugh about. Perhaps that with a swift and delicate caress I’d eased him into accepting the situation and brought us to gentle morning lovemaking.

Instead, all I could do was stutter half formed words, looking at him and his confused, no, afraid face. It broke my heart and I almost bolted. Almost. But I didn’t. Because I love Jeff. Because I didn’t want to risk making him believe I was disgusted by him or what we had done. I slowly pushed myself up and then, only then, when I dominated his petite body, did I exit him. I noticed how hard he was, and I hoped it was not just his own morning wood, that somehow he had liked the experience.

“You… You should go first to the shower” I croaked. “I take too much hot water when I shower … I’ll be in the toilets.”

“Mike, you can’t just…” he started but then he stopped. “Fuck… I’ve a splitting headache, my ass is killing me and… We’ll be talking about it, you hear me, man!?”

“Yeah. I swear I…”

He got up and rushed to his room. I didn’t dare watch him go. I didn’t want to be aroused by his huge naked ass. I needed to keep it together. I clutched my hands together, battling the anger at myself. I had held out for seven years. Seven fucking years! And now I’d blown up what I had with Jeff! Just because I couldn’t control myself! I was a fucking moron, or so I felt at the time, and I really berated myself. I only managed to get up when I heard the shower going and I slowly walked toward the toilets.

I sat and did what I needed to do, battling my emotions. I had fucked up, I knew it. I focused on what I’d need to do to help Jeff. The apartment was in my name, he was crashing here because he never had a relationship with someone else, and I love him, and it was a good enough reason to have him as a roommate as far as I was concerned. Now, I’d need to help him find a place of his own. That was the least I could do.

“Okay, I’m waiting in the living room,” he said to me, from the other side of the door. “I… uh… yeah…” he mumbled and I heard him moving away.

I dashed back to my room to pick my clothes for the day and then to the shower. I started the water, and just as I entered the shower, I started to sob. I tried to choke the sound out with my fist in front of my mouth. I didn’t want Jeff to see me like that. He should have been the one crying, he had been the one abused! I didn’t deserve to feel bad about myself. But I could help it. I curled into a ball and cried out.

“Mike!? Are you okay?”

I gasped and looked up. Jeff was here, looking at me as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. It wasn’t so surprising, he had never even seen me teary eyed. I’m a big strong Big, I didn’t cry. I was the rock that helped him, enjoying the chance to be with him while he’d get a great life, with a great girl that would make him feel loved and important, like he so deserved. Instead, I had taken his anal virginity just because I couldn’t resist my urges. God, I was pathetic, that day.

“Okay, uh… listen man… I’m sorry I… I had forgotten my phone here, I didn’t want to… I hadn’t heard you, uh… Look, Mike. We… we’ll talk it out, okay? I… I don’t want you to feel bad about yourself, you uh… yeah… Take your time, man.”

He put a hand on my shoulder, his small and frail fingers so soft on my hard muscles. I looked at him, we were at eye level. I couldn’t help myself. He was clothed, I was already wet, but I brought his face to mine and I kissed him. I was desperate, I hated myself for doing that to him again, but he was here, worrying about me, proving once more why I had fallen in love with his beautiful heart. He was frozen in place but he didn’t push me back and I finally broke the kiss.

“Oh man… you really don’t like that shirt with its long sleeves, eh?” he tried to joke.

“No, I don’t,” I rasped. “I like to see more of you, not less…”

He chuckled, blushed and looked everywhere but me and the erect monster that was becoming really hard to ignore. A part of me wanted to bring him fully in the shower and to make love to him, to caress his water-covered ass, to enjoy its juiciness for all its worth. I did nothing of the sort and gently pushed him away. I somehow felt better, like one could get better after drinking too much by adding a good gulping down of beer. Fuck me.

“Eh, try to be quick, man,” he finally said, still red and darting away - and this time I looked at his perfect backside, biting my lips.

I showered, trying to cool my head. I also jerked off, because I knew it was the only way I would be able to face Jeff out there. I needed my hormones down and my nuts empty if I wanted to be able to even think properly. He had not pushed me back when I kissed him. Hadn’t reciprocated either, but he hadn’t seemed disgusted. It had to count for something, surely? It had to mean at least some of our friendship remained, even if I was an impulsive moron, right?

I dried myself, got clothed and went out of the bathroom, only to be met with the smell of sausages, eggs and fries hitting my nostrils. I hadn’t realized I had spent so long in there - nor that Jeff had been cooking. And when I reached the living room, I was greeted by an enormous plate full of food for me - and a far smaller for him, with Jeff struggling to pour orange juice into a Big glass. He hadn’t noticed me, and I felt my love for him grow even more - God, he was just perfect.

“Here, let me help you with that, bro” I managed to say, as I positioned myself behind him and lifted the juice, to pour us both our fill.

“Th… thanks man,” he stuttered, blushing again as he looked up at me.

“You’re welcome, Jeff” I replied, my throat tightening again, as I looked down at him.

I rushed to my side of our little table. Well, little for me, for a smol like Jeff, it was pretty large, enough for a family of six, he had said once, laughing. God, I wanted so much to hear him laugh again, even if I knew I had fucked up and he’d never want to speak to me, once he’d be over what had happened and I’d have help him find a place of his own. He fought back tears again as he took his seat, putting a hand on my eyes, as I started eating slowly, savoring his cooking. He had always been a killer cook.

“So… uh… We sort of need to, uh… speak about what happened tonight man,” he finally said after long minutes of silence where we ate slowly. “I mean, last thing I remember is getting hammered because I had another abysmal failure of a date, and then I’m naked in your bed with you all over me and, uh… also inside… It’s… What the fuck happened, Mike?”

“I’m sorry, bro…” I replied, pushing the words as best I could. “I… when you came home, you were so distraught and, and… You said no one loves you and I… I couldn’t let you hurt yourself…”

I paused to extend a hand to catch his own, which was already viciously pinching his skin, without his conscious realization, as far as I could say. He looked puzzled as my large dark fingers, the color of nut brew, grazed his own, then seemed to notice what he had been doing. He blushed and stopped, and I retracted my hand, putting it on the table, shaking, as I battled the need to get up and hug him tight and tell how much he mattered to me.

“I love you,” I finally said. “Not as a bro… even if we are! But I…” I looked away, tears welling again in my eyes. “Fuck, like you could fall in love with a girl, I guess…”

“Since when?” he asked me softly, seemingly a little stunned by my honesty.

“Remember that time when you told Dwayne his truth at Kathie’s party? That’s the day I realized what my feelings for you were.”

“That was seven years ago, man!” he gasped. “You… you’ve been, what, crushing on me ever since and you told me nothing? You’re into me because I look like a girl, aren’t you!” he added, his voice full of hurt suddenly.

“No!” I boomed, louder than I wanted as he winced and shrunk back in his chair. “Sorry, bro. I… I love you for who you are. Yeah, I… I find your body attractive, I won’t lie about it. But that’s because it’s yours, okay? Not because you look like a girl - because you don't, bro!” I hastily added, I knew it was something he really didn’t want to be told about him. “I Just… you know I’m bi anyway. And you’re a sexy smol man is all,” I finished, trying and failing to push a chuckle out.

“I’m not into men, Mike,” he said slowly, looking at his plate, and I winced and looked at mine - until I felt one of his tiny hands, its fingers gently clutching my own and looked up. “But, uh… I think I’m into you?” he finished, blushing.

“What?”

I looked up at his face, as he looked away, avoiding my gaze, looking redder than a ripe tomato. My own face probably looked quite funny, because I was stunned. I think if a lightning bolt had struck me, I wouldn’t have been so shocked. He was into me? Jeff was into me? A bubbling laugh of relief escaped me, and I couldn’t hold it off. I jumped out of my chair, letting it clamber on the floor and I rushed to him. He wanted to say something, but I lifted out of his chair and kissed him, caressing his whole body.

“Fuck, Mike!” he gasped when I broke the kiss for a second, to allow him to breathe, but I dived right back, tears of relief running down my cheeks, as an atrocious weight I hadn’t even realized had been on me all those years finally lifted.

“Sorry, couldn’t help myself,” I finally chuckled. “I mean, I just got the best boyfriend, you can cut me some slack, right bro?”

“Boyfriend?” he squeaked adorably, and I kissed him again, adding a little bit of groping where needed, and I swear I felt him mellowing out in my arms.

“Yeah,” I moaned. “My boyfriend. My sexy smol boyfriend, that’ll finally receive all the love he deserves and more…” I added, kissing him in the neck and making him moan. “I should have done that years ago…”

“I… I don’t know…” he gasped. “I… I only started to… ah, to have some ideas about you and me, uh, like… four months ago, man” he revealed, mightily embarrassed and it made me laugh a little. “It’s not funny!” he whined.

“Yes it is, Jeff, bro. You’ve been having wet dreams of me for months and I was just here and you never thought to ask? Meanwhile, I got hard thinking of you at midnight and did my best to avoid you noticing.Come on, a bit funny, right?”

He didn’t answer, and I kissed him again. He gave back now, putting his arms around my neck, and nibbling my lips. I broke the kiss, we gazed longingly at each other, two idiots finally being honest with ourselves and the man we cared the most about, and we kissed again. It wasn’t like yesterday, where a fire had consumed me. No, it was slow, deliberate, shared. Something that we both wanted, that we both tried to enhance. I felt his small hands move to my pecs, massaging them.

“Fuck, they’re hard as rock,” he gasped. “And you’re not even trying to build up more anymore, right? Stopped bulking out two years ago, give or take…”

“Hum, yep. Want them to be bigger, bro?” I asked him. “I could bulk out for you, I only stopped because you seemed a little uncomfortable about it, you know?”

“I… I was getting a little aroused by how muscular you were becoming,” he admitted. “Man, I’m a freak, right?”

“Nope. You’re a sexy man who knows what he likes in his Big boyfriend” I laughed, holding him, cradling him against my powerful physique, enjoying the way his ridiculously large ass felt in my arms, the way he shifted.

“We, uh, we should finish eating, before it gets cold” he finally managed to say, after well near a minute lost in my eyes.

“You’re right, bro. You cooked for me when you didn’t have to, I don’t want to let any of that go to waste.”

I put him back in his chair and caressed his back as I circled back to mine. I also put a great show of really rolling my shoulders and stretching, letting my muscles flex. I was rewarded with a muffled gasp and a rush of two hands toward a crotch to hide what was probably a very hard erection. I smiled, with far more confidence than I truly felt. God, he was adorable, but I needed to contain myself. I sat back and started eating eagerly. Even colder, it was still delicious, especially now that I could really savor it.

“So, uh… What do we do now?” he finally asked me. “I… I mean, I’ve never been in a relationship so, uh… i… I don’t want to fuck this up” he added when I looked up from my plate.

“Relax, Jeff,” I told him softly. “We’ll just be doing what we usually do on a Sunday afternoon, playing video games together, bitching about work or just watching TV, like we always do. We’ll just be a little bit more touchy than usual, and you can expect me to kiss really often. I’m very big on kissing in a relationship. That and caressing. Doesn’t need to lead to sex, if you don’t feel ready yet bro. But I’ll definitely kiss you all over.”

“And… and can I kiss you too?” he asked. “On the muscles, I mean!” he added, so red I swear I could feel the heat of his face from my side of the table!

“Bro… You don’t even need to ask. You want to kiss me, you kiss me. We’re boyfriends now! Oh man! It's a dream come true! Sorry in advance if I sound a little like I’m on cloud 9, Jeff. But what a fucking emotional rollercoster.”

“You’ve got a strange way to call fucking me in the ass, man,” he grinned, reverting a little to his smartass personality I loved so much.

“Nah. I call that claiming my man,” I replied in a very deadpanning way, finishing my plate. “Now hurry up. I want to watch something with you, bro. Holding you. Cause you look fucking hot when you blush.”

He proved me dead right again, by blushing deliciously.