In all honesty, Pearl should’ve known better than to indulge Amethyst’s irrational cravings. But she figured that it was only fair, seeing as how they’d left on their mission before she could even have breakfast, which was apparently responsible for the rather lackluster performance in battle earlier (Pearl was STILL convinced she’d let her take a few graceless blows to the face on purpose).
Against her better judgment, Pearl agreed they’d stop by the Fryman’s stand if they were able to successfully retrieve the abandoned piece of Gem technology. As it turned out, the lean Gem had severely underestimated her partner’s determination on an empty stomach (which she didn’t even need, by the way). And thus, she was left waiting, annoyed, outside the fryshop while Amethyst excused herself to find a restroom (which she didn’t even NEED, BY THE WAY).
She glanced down at the small, orb-like object in her hand and examined it again. They’d gone through a lot of trouble for such a little thing… It was around the size of a marble—so small she hadn’t seen the need to bubble it.
Garnet had been vague on the exact details of what it actually did, only that it was dangerous, and not to be toyed with. So Pearl had obviously demanded to handle it herself, lest it fall into Amethyst’s grubby mitts. Knowing her, the clumsy Gem would’ve lost it before they made it back to Beach City. Maybe even swallowed it!
After a few more minutes of waiting, the Elder Fryman appeared, gave her a quick, nervous smile-nod, and left a greasy tray of “Frenched Fries” on the counter beside her before shuffling back into the depths of his frycookery. Quite the anxious, suspicious individual, but maybe that was expected of someone who spent all day tending to vats of bubbling grease.
Oh, and the incident with the maniacal fry mascot costume…
And… whatever was going on with his son. The other one. The one nobody likes.
As she turned and rested her hands on the counter, she almost felt bad for Fryman. What she did feel, however, was a soft Click! between her fingers as she activated the artifact.
Fuck.
Before she’d even had a chance to bubble the orb, a blinding flash had enveloped her…
And that was how she found herself here: Lost in a puzzling forest of disgusting salted Earth potatoes, sliced into nonsensical columns and served in a grease-soaked food tray. Huge, cubic structures she recognized as mere grains of salt nearly twice her size dotted the ridgid, twisting landscapes.
At this scale, Pearl could truly appreciate the absolute absurdity of the human appetite. A real testament to the race’s hubris; Harvesting potatoes from the earth wasn’t enough—boiling, quartering, submerged in hissing oil—they subjected their crops to all sorts of medieval torture methods until the vegetables were nearly unrecognizable. It made her sick to her stomach.
Luckily, Gems didn’t have stomachs, and thus usually had no reason to subject themselves to such culinary self-mutilation. But that didn’t stop Amethyst from taking part in the archaic ritual anyway—Pearl suspected merely to annoy her.
Amethyst… Pearl clenched her fists and scowled up at the salt-crusted sky. If it weren’t for her insatiable appetite, she wouldn’t even BE in this mess!
When she got her hands on that brat, she’d—
She would—
Articulated well of her mind ran dry as a series of worsening earthquakes shook the greasy ground at her feet. The true source of them, however, was something much more terrifying than the amateurish craftsmanship of shifting tectonic plates.
From around the corner came the full-sized form of Amethyst herself, silver locks of hair bouncing carelessly with each almighty footstep. Pearl gulped and gazed up at the heaving purple colossus. Bulging, mountainous breasts made it difficult to make out her face, but there was probably a smug look of superiority running across it as she peered down on Pearl’s puny form.
Sighing, she swallowed her pride and tightened up, bearing the indignity of being immeasurably smaller than the Crystal Gems’ resident shortstack. There was an irony to this that the prim, pointy-nosed Gem was thoroughly unamused by. She simply resigned herself to the inevitable flurry of trifling taunts that would be coming her way.
Instead, a deafening rumble like raucous thunder rocked Pearl to her core. She unfortunately recognized it as the sound of Amethyst’s growling stomach, magnified a thousandfold at this scale. Ugh, it only did that when she… was… hungry…
The reality slowly sunk in for Pearl.
Stranded on Amethyst’s french fries…
Smaller than a single grain of salt…
Nothing more than a little seasoning speck…
Amethyst finally peered over her immense chest, eyes glistening with gourmand opportunity and a fat tongue slowly seeping out from between her lips. She swept a continental arm across the countertop, scooping up the fry basket and sending her shrunken teammate tumbling all the way to the bottom of her appetite.
As colossal, wiggling fingers hovered over the tray, a single word boomed around Pearl:
“HUUUUUUNNGRRYYYYY…”
One couldn’t say why Amethyst ate, nor why she insisted on maintaining a human stomach and manifesting an appetite seemingly at will.
Perhaps there was something inherently pleasant about consuming food, enjoying the taste of every delectable morsel that found its way onto her plate. Truly taking the time to savor every bite and indulging in the simple sensation of taste. One of life’s little pleasures that helped make her feel alive.
Make her feel human.
…
Nahhhhh, it was for the same reason why she’d shapeshifted an entire functioning digestive system.
She just thought it was funny.
“Maaaan, that mission took foreveee~eeer!” Amethyst announced upon return from another exciting trip to the human bathroom. “Sorry that took so long, P. But ya girl’s back in action, and she’s—”
Amethyst stopped.
It was too quiet…
Usually Pearl would be nagging her ear off by now, but the skinny Gem was nowhere to be seen. Not that Amethyst was complaining, of course. Ditching her was RUDE, but she appreciated a break from the high-and-mighty attitude. She forgot about it anyway as her eyes fell upon the salted prize awaiting her.
Sitting on the counter lay the pinnacle of human innovation: French fries!
Amethyst eagerly approached the Fryman place, ready to pounce on her snack. She didn’t even notice the marble-sized orb as it rolled across the boardwalk and slipped between the planks. As a vicious growl erupted from her yearning belly, she concluded, “—Hungryyy…”
This feeling of emptiness within her, she couldn’t think of anything greater than filling it! Grabbing a fistful of fries, she threw them into her mouth and swallowed without even chewing.
Good… But they needed a little something extra.
Passing by the condiments, she held the fry basket under the nozzle and squirted a hearty glob of ketchup into the center of her snack. “Heh heh heh, niceee~” She giggled greedily, picking up a single fry and dragging it through the crimson pool.
Regular french fries were good, but when you dipped these suckers in this ooey-gooey tomato juice they became something else entirely. Something you just had to savor… She made sure to take her time as she walked back to the temple, picking up fry after fry, dunking them and then plopping them between her puckering lips.
When the tray was nearly empty she dumped the rest of the fries into her mouth and started licking up every last morsel from the greasy bottom. It’d be a waste to let even the smallest fleck of flavor escape her!
“Mmmm, tasty,” She laughed, before glancing down at the salt grains already populating her generous bosom. Each little white speck dotted the surface of her chest like pinprick stars against an endless dusky night sky. With a playful bounce she sent them all tumbling into the canyon resting between each huge purple tit, smirking with pride.
Admiring her impressive boobage, Amethyst noticed a stray drop of ketchup gradually dribbling into its depths. “Whoops! Where do you think you’re goin’, little dude?” She chuckled to herself right as it disappeared around the curve of her left breast and started to seep into her cleavage. “Aw no you don’t! Mama’s comin’ in after ya!” She said, reaching for it with an eager, scooping finger.
As long as there was a little sauce left to suckle, nothing escaped Amethyst’s appetite.
Typical.
Okay, this was fine. This was fine, Pearl told herself as five massive, columnar digits dug into her silted prison and grabbed a clumsy fistful of towering french fries. Even in the face of Amethyst’s overwhelming… Well, everything, a Pearl was to remain resolute!
All she had to do was get her attention and figure out how to return to normal size…
Overhead, the lumbering colossus threw several skyscrapers’ worth of fries into her mouth and swallowed them all in one chewless gulp. Pearl grimaced.
…Or at least avoid getting eaten for now.
Of course, she was far too swift and nimble on her feet to get caught by that huge, lumbering glutton! All she’d have to do was climb onto a fry, jump from that onto her hand…
A hooked nozzle hovered into place directly overhead while Pearl planned her dashing ascent and she was blasted by a deluge of sugary tomato paste.
The world sunk into a slushing wasteland of high-fructose corn syrup and grease. Pearl let out a hiss of pure disgust as she found herself forced to swallow the sickeningly sweet substance. After swimming through the red sea, she finally broke the surface just in time to see a monumental fry hurtling towards her. Despite her best efforts to traipse through the sludge, she was scooped up and carried off high into the micro-atmosphere.
Oh, typical.
Her head whipped back. Amethyst’s fingers were too far away—In fact, she was apparently trapped in a glistening glob of ketchup at the very end of the french fry. And on the opposite end—
Lips…
An enormous pair of plump, purple lips sat before the shrunken Gem like the gates of eternity and parted in slow motion, thin strands of saliva spreading and snapping viscously. The warmth of her breath made itself known instantly, battering Pearl’s little body with the raw stench of microwave burritos, leftover pizza and whatever else she’d shoved into the abyss of her esophagus. From the dank purple cave rolled a sopping reddish mass rippling with infinitesimal whitish lumps.
T-tongue…
Her tongue lolled out like a sluggish beast and greedily washed over the surface of her lips, leaving them slick with spittle. Any microscopic salt-specks unlucky enough to be in its path were effortlessly dragged into the depths of its hellish den and dissolved in the sloshing pools of saliva.
Pearl trembled miserably, still soaking in her condiment bath.
She needed to get out of here.
Now.
She fought valiantly against the thick hold of her ketchup bog as Amethyst’s mouth approached. Summoning her spear, she slashed uselessly at the goopy mass. No-no-no-no-no, this couldn’t be how it ended for her! Not Amethyst, ANYONE but Amethyst—
Right as it seemed she would be plunged into the pig’s maw, she was falling.
By some miracle, gravity had dislodged her ketchup glob mere milliseconds before tongue touchdown. And now Pearl found herself hurtling through the air in an interstellar glob of sugary red goop. Where she’d come from was obvious, as she looked up at the disappearing underside of Amethyst’s chin, followed by the peristaltic pulse of her broad throat. And as for where she was going…
Below her stretched the nigh-endless plain of Amethyst’s chest, rapidly rising to greet her. With an imperceptible Plop! she made landfall—A drop of ketchup splattering unnoticed against Amethyst’s left breast.
A humiliating rescue, but one she’d be grateful for in hindsight.
Flicking the crimson slop off her, Pearl couldn’t help but be in awe of the alien landscape, not unlike some of the worlds she’d visited long, long ago. A smooth, sprawling purplish plain glistening in the Beach City sun, fully exposed by Amethyst’s immodest top. On the horizon, the curve of a second breast loomed like an orbiting moon, and between the twin enormities…
The cosmic chasm known as Amethyst’s cleavage.
Huge boulders of salt littered her chest, raining down as Amethyst shoved more fries into her mouth. Pearl hadn’t noticed it at first, but looking closely the skin on her superfluous boobs bore a textured epidermis almost identical to the supple imperfections of human flesh (Pearl was happy to note that she’d recently become an EXPERT on the suppleness of humanity). It was even complete with microscopic pores and a few thin, silvery hairs.
Honestly it was fascinating—She’d never known Gems could shape-shift down to such a fine level of detail. Maybe she’d been wrong about Amethyst all this time…
Or maybe Amethyst herself wasn’t even aware of this, Pearl reconsidered as the gargantuan slacker dunked the rest of the fry bin into her mouth and slobbered over whatever was left.
Shockwaves rippled across her chest as Amethyst erupted into a great big belly laugh. The hectic motion caused the little drop of ketchup to start dribbling down the side of her breast. Pearl felt her nonexistent stomach drop as she stared headlong down the inside of her cavernous cleavage. A vast canyon millions of miles wide, where Amethyst’s breasts collided and formed a deep, dark crevice that Pearl was helplessly hurtling towards.
The heaving mammaries jiggled with gelatinous menace, sending countless boulders of salt tumbling into the abyss. The curved walls grew claustrophobic, smothering Pearl with anxiety as the bouncing bosom swallowed her up. Sunlight grew dim, space grew tight, and Pearl found herself bathed in the faint glow of Amethyst’s gemstone, nestled deep between her breasts. Her distant, booming voice echoed around her, taunting the speck of a Gem for falling into her most obvious bodily trap.
A… booby trap…
…
Ugh, Amethyst was getting to her.
Just as her plump face disappeared around the curve of a tremendous boob, a single finger wormed its way into the sea of sweaty flesh. Amethyst cooed as she playfully scooped the ketchup glob out of her tits, taking a miniaturized stowaway along for the ride.
“AMETHYST!” Pearl shouted, trying to get her partner’s attention now that it was solely on her. Unfortunately, the single speck of white against a backdrop of red didn’t seem to stand out much as she approached Amethyst’s gaping mouth. “D-DON’T YOU DARE—”
“Ohhm.”
Everything instantly went to metaphorical hell in the proverbial handbasket.
Plunged into Amethyst’s squelching maw, Pearl was plowed face-first against her tongue and lapped up along with the rest of her sugar-tomato bath. Waves of saliva washed over her and distantly, the sounds of pre-digestion and sloshing spit gurgled all around her. Grimacing, she dug her hands into the surface of the tongue and held on tightly as it flailed and flopped like a death-rattling leviathan.
A memory flashed in Pearl’s head of the time she’d fought that mechanical bull.
She was mashed against every inch of Amethyst’s cavernous mouth as she clung to the tip of her tongue. Jammed between mountainous molars and rubbed against the textured roof of her mouth, Pearl could feel her grip slipping with each wiggling thrash. With an errant flick of the tongue, she went soaring through the dripping darkness and landed with a comical Splat! at the back of Amethyst’s throat.
Pearl scrambled to stop herself from sliding down her pulsing esophagus while rivers of saliva raced past her. The mouth seemed an eternity away, dim light eking past Amethyst’s dull teeth and the inside of her lips as they opened and closed.
Horrible visions flashed of Pearl slipping past her murky epiglottis (Crafted to fine human-grade specifications), traveling down her long, slimy food pipe, being squirted into her acid-filled stomach, and THEN…
…Pearl actually didn’t know WHAT happened to all the gallons of food Amethyst ate, but she had the horrible feeling that she would be finding out in just a few moments.
A liquifying rumble seemingly confirmed her fears. As it grew louder and closer, she closed her eyes and peacefully accepted her fate.
…
Stupid fucking pig Amethyst fuck her fuck her fuck—
“Uuuuuuuurrrrpppppp!!!”
Now THAT was a burp! Amethyst beamed, patting her mighty gut. She would’ve apologized if there were anyone around to hear it… Nah, she wouldn’t’ve. A belch like that was something to be proud of! If only there’d been someone around to see THAT!
Unbeknownst to her, there was.
Pearl the Crystal Speck, propelled from the depths of the titan’s gullet by the unexpected eructation and hurtling helplessly through the air like a subsonic mote of dust. She was a barely-visible fleck, the fact was cemented as she was whipped and whisked around Amethyst’s immense figure. A puff from her upturned nostrils sent her spiraling out of control around the gargantuan glutton, each footstep threatening to smear Pearl against some unsightly part of Amethyst’s body.
The festering forest of her rank armpits, exposed with each carefree sway of her arms. The long, unkempt jungle of her messy silver hair from which there’d be no telling which way was out. Her blustering, snot-filled nostrils which threatened to suck her up with each superfluous breath. The dripping den of her open mouth, which Pearl had just barely escaped…
All the horrible possibilities were so overwhelming.
And Pearl was so, SO… insignificant.
“HOT…” Amethyst’s voice boomed, breaking Pearl out of her downward spiral and blowing the microscopic Gem out of orbit. Freed from the purple behemoth’s gravitational pull, Pearl found herself drifting towards the home’s ventilation grates just as Amethyst punched a few buttons on the thermostat.
The AC roared to life, buffeting Pearl with freezing hurricane-force gails and sending her flying through the air once again. Amethyst’s face zipped past as she basked in the gentle breeze and soon her sight was lost as Pearl wafted through the open kitchen…
Across the living room…
And out the open window.
Pearl was panicking.
Like it or not, Amethyst had been her best hope of rescue. Now the shrunken Gem was completely on her own. She was microscopic—Smaller than a grain of sand and lilting gently along the ocean breeze towards a beach littered with billions of them. If she were to land amongst them she’d be beyond any hope of recovery.
She’d be just another piece of silt between some beachgoer’s toes…
After ducking into her room and rummaging around in her junk pile, Amethyst warped back into the living room with a beach towel slung over her shoulder and a bottle of coconut oil in hand. She opened her mouth and squirted the coconutty liquid onto her tongue, savoring the flavor.
Her skimpy bikini was already starting to ride up, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like she’d be wearing it long anyway once she got on the beach. Grinning, Amethyst slipped on a broken pair of shades and stepped out the door.
Time to work on her tan.
Salvation came in a horrifyingly familiar fashion. As much as Pearl had hated wafting weightlessly through the air, when she caught sight of Amethyst’s voluptuous body trekking across the dunes she prayed she’d get swept out to sea.
Alas, cruel fate had other plans for Pearl, and she found herself drifting towards Amethyst as she laid out her towel and laid belly-down upon it. A groan escaped Pearl’s lips as the carefree Gem undid the straps on her swimsuit, leaving her breasts and buttocks completely exposed.
Oh, Amethyst…
Why did it have to be Amethyst, the speck-Gem moaned as she finally came to a rest upon the sand-spritzed summit of a mountainous purple buttcheek.