David's Routine
by Dann
He didn’t know her name; he didn’t know who she was, where she lived, or even what her voice sounded like. She was like a picture on the wall, distant and protected by the glass frame. She was nothing more than the woman across the bus. Every morning around the same time she would walk onto the bus at the Lawrence and Younge intersection, she would stay on for 5 stops and then she was gone. That was it, but somehow in that 15 minutes every morning, David Arnew managed to fall head over heels in love.
David was a shy man; he lived his life taking the easy way out of everything. He would get up at the same time, shave and shower at the same time. His apartment was set up in the same way day by day and his routine was set in stone. David was a bit obsessive when it came to his routine and he respected nothing more than routine. That is why she was so attractive to him. Every day she would come on at the same time, she would take off her gloves and hat and sit in the same seat. She would look at the driver and say “Good Morning” and then she would stare out the window while she waited for her stop. David could almost time the second of these things, and to him it was beautiful. But then again so was she! She had long blond hair and green eyes. Her skin reminded him of peaches and cream, and her lips were full and pouting. She was about 5”7 and wore the same white winter jacket with white gloves and a white hat. She was the object of David Arnew’s absolute and total adoration.
But David was afraid of change, and more than that he was afraid of this woman. She was something new and the idea of introducing her into his life was too much of a risk. His fear kept him from approaching her, and his obsession kept him from forgetting about her. His mind led him into an irreversible loop that was slowly driving him to insanity. He could only see her for 15 minutes a day! Sure perhaps if he spoke to her maybe they could find something in common and then maybe talk over coffee, but he was never really good with women. David was a typical nerd. 5 '5 slicked back hair, glasses, a plaid shirt, right down to the pocket protector and eyeglass straps tied behind his ears. She looked to be the type of woman who wouldn’t even give him the time of day, let alone meet for coffee. No David couldn’t talk to her; it just wasn’t possible.
But every day he tried nonetheless, and every day he got to the same sad point. Every day he would stand up just after she delivered her greeting to the driver, he would look towards her as she gazed out the window, and he would take a timid step towards her, and just as he would open his mouth to speak, something would happen. Sometimes the bus would come to a sudden stop and he would find himself on the floor at the front of the bus. One time a crowd of busy commuters would rush on and push him towards the back, and sometimes people would ask him to move or get out of the way as he would be blocking their entrance onto the bus. But faithfully every time he tried something or someone got in the way. One event stuck out in his mind over all however. He had mustered up the courage to stand up, he had braced himself for the sudden stop of the bus, he ducked out of the rushing mob of commuters and kept close to the wall to get out of the way of oncoming people. He opened his mouth, she looked to him, eye-to-eye they stood before one another. It was perfect; he would finally get his chance! When suddenly a loud voice pierced from behind and startled the courage out of David. He turned to find himself at Breast level to a rather large angry woman of Middle Eastern descent. Her name was Ida Hasula. He knew her well! When he had lived in North York she was his landlady. He lived in the apartment above her garage. She was never the nicest woman and their relationship was rather shaky. See Ida had a crush on David and was not shy about showing it. However David was not only scared stiff of Ida, but her messy lifestyle and slob like demeanour didn’t set right with Dave. Ida confessed her feelings to the much younger, smaller and cleaner David Arnew, but David turned her down. It wasn’t that she looked bad; she was an attractive woman with full pouting lips and a pretty face. But she was just not his type, she was 6 '3 and Dave was 5' 5 Dave was shy and quiet and Ida was loud, obnoxious and controlling. Frankly he was scared of her.
Well Ida didn’t take the letdown all too well and ever since that day she held a bitter grudge against Dave. She was convinced he thought he was better than her, and accused him of not wanting to date her because of her weight. This led to tension whenever they would meet; but Ida was never shy about that.
“Outta my way scrub!” She howled and raised her massive hands, hands that could both palm Dave’s whole face, and pushed him back.
“I’m…I mean I didn’t mean to...I...sorry I mean I…” David tried to apologize as she continued to shove and push him. He attempted to move around her but as he reached the side she shifted her weight and stepped onto both his feet with one of her own. Even her feet dwarfed his, as one of her own covered both of his. She then shoved him with her enormous tushie and sent him falling to the slush, salt and snow covered bus floor. Then in one final insult she stepped over him kicking him as she passed him. David didn’t say anything, and nobody on the bus dared interfere…and what made things worse, the woman of his desire, his cherubim…was gone.
Stuff like that happened almost once a week with Ida. David hated her for it, but what was he to do? He was too shy and passive to stand up for himself, and too scared to tell anyone, and too ashamed at that. David was a small man; Ida was at least double his weight of 96 pounds. Anger consumed him, and obsession drove him. He had the perfect plan! It would solve all his problems. He couldn’t stop Ida, he couldn’t defeat her, all he had to do was avoid her. But he also had to see more of his angel; he had to be close to her, to be with her. How could he become invisible enough to avoid Ida but still there to bask in the presence of his angelic Aphrodite? The answer was simple; he had to get small…really small.
David spent weeks looking things up on the internet, but all he came across was fetish pages and stories, all fiction. He tried typing in; shrink, reduce, miniaturize and even downsize. But none of it worked. Until he tried “occult” Many pages filled his view, but one in particular caught his attention. Dave spent hours reading through the pages, the links smiled as he came across the address of a self-proclaimed witch in the Toronto area. It was his only lead… It was his best chance.
David approached the address, 33 Wickwood Drive Scarborough, it was a small brick house with an old wooden gate and a small mailbox in the front shaped like a cauldron. Right away Dave had his doubts, the sign on the front said “Tabitha Zane, Witch, prophet, taxidermist, income tax and revenue”. Dave let out a sigh; she had to be a fake. This would never work, how could someone so shotty be real? Dave turned before he even reached half way up the driveway, and to his surprise found himself looking down at a midget of a woman. She was old with gray hair and a funny black hat on. She looked at him with one good eye and a crooked face.
“What are you doing here ehh?” She spoke in a raspy old tone loud and accusing. “I think I know what you are wanting…”
David crossed his brow, how did she know what he wanted? He looked at her with mixed feelings before speaking.
“How can you know what I want when I haven’t even said anything?”
“Fool! I know everything, I'm a prophet! Now the question is, are you sure it's really what you want?”
David paused; of course it was what he wanted. It was the perfect plan. Fat old Ida wouldn’t be able to see him and he would be able to steal away in his angel’s pocket and satisfy his obsession for as long as he wanted! Then when he was finished he could reverse the spell and do it again the next day!
“I’m sure…”
The old woman glared at him for a while, and then looked down to her bag and pulled out a silver ring.
“Put this on and when you want to shrink just say the words ‘let me get small’ and there you go. But I warn you…”
David stopped paying attention after she told him to do what he wanted to do. He was thrilled. He could now get the better of that sow Ida and be with his angel as long as he wanted. He was about to leave when he felt a kick in the back of the leg.
“Hey jerk, what do you think this is charity…that’s gonna be 50 bucks!”
The old woman grumbled. Nothing in this world was free, after all, so David wasn’t surprised.
“Do…you take checks?”
“Cash, checks, money order, paypal…visa and American Express….”
David had his plan all sorted out. He would get on the bus early, just to make sure there was nobody there. He would use the Ring while sitting in the seat next to the one she always sat in, and then when she boarded the bus and sat down, he would sneak into her pocket and away to paradise; it was perfect, infallible nothing could go wrong! Just like he planned, Dave waited for the bus 15 minutes early, sat beside the seat she always sat in and put on the ring.
“Here we go…” David was starting to get a little nervous, what if she wasn’t here today? At least he had the ring, so he could always get big again. David closed his eyes and said the three words that would bring him the peace he desired so much. “Let me get small”.
At first it didn’t seem like anything had happened. Things around him were still kind of normal. He looked around and let out a frown.
“Crap… I said let me get small!” Still nothing. “Let me get small let me get small LET ME GET SMALL ” David was in a state of anger now. He spent money on this and for what? He was right, she was a fake! “I can’t believe it, let me get small I said let me get small let me get small...”
Dave began to feel a little funny; all his senses began to go off the wall. The ring on his finger began to emit a high-pitched sound that only Dave could hear. Then the funny feeling was gone. Dave looked around, everything was bigger, and he had shrunk. But not nearly as much as he wanted; he was now 4 '5, then the feeling took over once more and soon he found himself 3' 5 and then 2 '5 and then 1' 5 and then just 5 inches. David came to a realization, for every time he said those words he lost a certain level of height. Dave’s heart sank as the funny feeling came over him again. He said those words eight times, and this was only the 5th shrink.
“Wait no this is enough I’ll take…”
Down Dave went, from 5 inches to two and a half, from two and a half he went to a half and from a half he went to a quarter. David stopped shrinking at quarter of an inch tall. Everything around him was shocking. The bus was like the whole earth to him now. His vision only took him a few seats over; the back of the bus was worlds away. The indentations in the bus seats were like ditches and the sounds around him were magnified a million times over. David looked around him, his clothes had shrunk with him, his glasses however had not, neither did his pocket protector. Those sat beside him on the seat next to him. His glasses were like the Roman colossi. So big they were in a world of their own. Beside the glasses however he saw a marvelous sight. A silver wall that stretched out miles on either side of him, in it he could see himself. It was breathtaking. Whatever it was, it made him stare in awe. It was a giant circular ring of silver…a ring…a silver ring.
“Oh no….” David gulped. A silver ring! It couldn’t be! David looked to his hand and sure enough the ring wasn’t there. It didn’t shrink with him! “Oh God no!!” David screamed as he put his hands on the ring. “Lets get Big lets get big!” nothing happened. He had to have the ring on, and he couldn’t wear it at this small size!
David sulked down beside the ring and his glasses. What else could go wrong? Not only was he too small to get big but he was so small that his angelic beauty would be too big for him to enjoy. Things were low, and as far as he could see they couldn’t get any worse.
David figured it would be three stops before his angel would get on. He was somewhat happy, because at least he would get to see her, and at this size she would be a monument to beauty. He was used to being smaller than girls, he could get used to this as well. Things started to look up, at least she would come on, and when Ida came on she wouldn’t see him so she wouldn’t be able to make his life hell. It was perfect really. When his angel got here he would stand by his glasses, she would see them, see him and together they would find a way to make the ring work.
“Morning Miss Hasula, this isn’t your stop is it?” Dave’s eyes widened as he heard a voice from the heavens. He could hardly understand it but he knew what he heard, Hasula…Ida Hasula?
“Aie vas at sister house taking care uv bebe.” He knew that voice, that thunderous voice from the pits of hell. It was Ida!
The ground shuck as the colossal Ida stepped onto the bus. He could see her figure looming above like the moon. She took a moment to speak with the driver before turning her astronomically large body towards the seats.
“Stupid bitch…like to see you pick on me now ehh….bitch…YOU’RE A BITCH that’s what you are a mother f…”
Dave screamed and waved his arms at her and began to laugh, he would get away beating free this time. There was no way she would see him like this. But perhaps that was the problem.
“I’m lucky today, the front seat’s open!”
David’s mouth dropped as he heard that. She was going to sit here? This was his angel’s spot! She wasn’t allowed to sit here!
“No! Get your own seat! Move on now! GET! I WON'T HAVE THIS!” Dave screamed till he was red in the face, but he was so insignificant to the magnificent planet that was Ida that his voice was too unworthy of noting, there was no way it deserved to be heard, nor could it even if she wanted to. She simply ignorantly turned and began to lower her bountiful caboose onto the seat. “WAIT! NOOOO!”
David screamed as he watched in ultra slow motion the ass that was the size of ten-foot ball fields lower onto the landscape before him. She landed with a thud and began to wiggle around and settle herself into place. This sent Dave onto his back. Ida was sitting where his angel was supposed to sit! How would he get to her now!
Ida once settled in, plopped her purse down and took off her gloves. She set them down and noticed beside them a silver ring and a pair of glasses.
“The fuck is this?”
David ran towards her hands as they reached out for the ring. Her fingers were like office buildings, her hands the size of a small city. Her tan painted fingernails were the size of small houses. He could see his reflection in her thumb nail as she picked up the ring and looked it over with her greedy eyes.
“Finders keepers.”
She emitted a booming laugh that sent chills through David’s back and stomach and then in horror he watched as she untied her necklace and looped the ring around it, then tied it back around her neck and let it fall between her giant breasts.
“Noooo wait! Ida I need that!”
Ida then looked at the glasses and grunted as she brushed them to the floor, bringing her foot down onto them with a small crunch. Her foot dominated the thin-framed glasses and covered their runes totally leaving nothing visible. She then took the pocket protector and everything that was inside that pocket with it, such as wallet, keys and pens, Dave’s whole life, and dropped it into her purse. With a smile she sat back and nodded as she opened the wallet and began to look in it, she was pleased with her find.
“I gotta get her to see me, I need that ring! Ida…Ida Hasula!” Dave ran up to her and began pounding on her fatty leg. But it was like hitting a 50 ton piece of rubber. He couldn’t even make a dent in the fabric of her pants. He looked up at her as she ominously sat totally ignorant to his presence.
“David Arew? Fucking scrub!” Ida scowled as she crinkled his drivers license in her massive hand. “Maybe I should get these to him? Not a chance!” Ida cackled as she lowered his wallet into her purse and zipped it up. Then she let out a merciless laugh and placed her purse in her lap. “Loser.”
Dave began to climb Ida’s leg, if he could get to higher ground maybe he could get to the ring? However as Ida was looking down at her purse she noticed something crawling on her leg. Something too small to be important! She simply mashed her thumb into it so it stuck to her thumb and brought it to her eye.
“Idack!” David screamed as Ida’s thumb dominated him and distorted his body into her flesh. He felt like a bug mashed between someone’s foot. He looked her right in her monstrous eye. She just looked at him like the great creator, judging his very worth and holding his fate in her thumb. Then she blinked and took her thumb to her finger and pressed them against one another, then wiped him onto the seat next to her. He was right there, right before her eye, and he was too small for her to notice, even right up to her eye. She discarded him as a stupid bug!
David was furious; she was just going to keep it all? At least she could try and get them back to him! Dave began to kick and bite and ram himself into Ida’s leg. He wanted her to feel pain now! He rammed himself into her, however she moved slightly and he sunk into the seat a bit, then she moved back the other way and David watched in totally fear and horror as her as landed on him totally blocking him out and dominating him, and Ida didn’t even feel it, he didn’t even make a big enough dent in her pants to be felt.
“…loser…no friends…ugly worm of man…like that bug…stupid man.”
(He is such a Loser, he has no friends, he is an ugly worm of a man just like that bug I just killed, stupid man)
Dave could hear her talk more, but her words were muffled. He struggled and thrashed his arms around but it was like being stuck in jelly. He couldn’t get free. Her ass was like a gelatin keeping him trapped without air. Finally when he was about to pass out she tilted her position a bit as she had before and David scrambled free. Even before Dave could catch his breath he looked up to see the monster that was Ida’s hand reaching down towards him. He let out a scream as it appeared she saw him, would he be saved?
“Ida?”
Dave however was disappointed as Ida’s hand landed on top of Him and then dragged him towards her leg. She began to scratch her leg with her finger, smashing and mashing and crunching Dave into it in the process. He was eventually manipulated into her thumbnail where he became caught in-between her nail and her skin.
“I’ll see you later Ed” Ida boomed as she stood up and began to exit the bus. Dave was disoriented and could only see the side of Ida’s titanic body as her hand moved limply at her side as she walked. He did however notice a white pair of boots attached to a white pair of pants and jacket as she raised her hand to wave at the driver. It was his angel!
“Noooooooo” Dave screamed as Ida walked right past his angel to exit the bus. He thrashed around like mad and began to struggle to get free of where he was. He gave it everything he had, but Ida was in a different world and there was nothing Dave could do to get this planet of a woman to notice him. Just as he was before he is now, nothing to her.
Dave watched in horror as her thumb lowered to her side, removing his angel from view. He struggled to get free but he could not move, he was wedged into the skin under Ida’s thumb like a miniscule piece of dirt. Ironically, under the thumb of the one woman who had him trapped under thumb in a figurative sense most of his life was now walking away with him literally under thumb.